A collection of related blog posts.
Abuse in American Society
What is it about American culture that makes abuse so prevalent it’s normalized and goes unrecognized?
Individuals snipe and prod but escape by saying “I’m just playing”. Yeah like a cat batting a mouse around before killing it.
Wit, teasing, banter and flirting seem to have fallen out of favor and sardonic baiting is all that’s replaced it. No one is happy with the situation and no one seems to have noticed why.
Look you foolish fellow mortals. No one likes having to be “en guarde” at all times. You carry words as weapons and strike the unwitting for fun.
Then mess around endlessly if pushed back. Suddenly your abuse goes under the radar and their response is all anyone pays attention to.
As I dozed today I got the impression that some women around here want to view me as a frothing mess – a state I have indeed been driven to by 72 hours awake while being harassed the whole time. About 3 times.
I reached full oblivion twice.
But that’s been a small part of my existence and the other women are just trying to avoid the drama queens.
God heals all ugliness of the soul. So I am confident the damage to me internally is not permanent. Anger and hate do indeed rip into your essence like it is made of fragile petals.
But it can be protected if my theories of emotional tai chi hold. Perhaps we can heal the ugliness in American culture.
Americans band together for protection in herds and regard others as a threat. Separately from if they are, any individual from another herd is considered potentially dangerous.
The situation is cyclical however because you need the support of a group to weather the abuse of the society. So becoming a herd is natural.
That (and abusive parents) molds abusive people into being. Then everyone feels justified for being an asshole because everyone is an asshole.
I hope it’s changing, the more sensitive generations have been mocked by abusive asses while I have been delighted.
I’m particularly vulnerable to tears when it comes to the atrocities of World War II, so a (probably well written) book was avoided when I was a freshman in high school. At my parent’s insistence. I was too young to cope with such vivid content.
By reports a classmate lost her breakfast.
Yet younger generations are mocked and hassled for at least wanting content notifications on books with difficult subjects. I’ve been waiting for these kids all my life – maybe to teach, certainly to encourage.
The lies told about me prevent me from ever doing so again. And is a great grievance I have with certain American women and their prima Donna control techniques of lying, gaslighting, and cumulative reactive abuse.
I can’t comment on male toxicity here – I’m not one and most men have been welcoming of my company and did not expect me to have machismo!
But the kind of toxicity you get here is potentially fatal. This mean girls crap has got to go.
Abuse is the fastest way to attack and try to control “an outsider”. And the herds, banding together for protection, all go on attack mode if an “alien” being approaches. Not an immigrant – though many are assholes to them too – but any perceived threat.
To their power, to their control, and perhaps the dating pool. I’m not sure on the latter.
Those of us used to going from group to group and getting along with everyone are told to “Step in Line” by a woman who wants to be the queen of queens.
They don’t have anything other than the position to exert social pressure. But boy do they have that and their lies do spread. Ruining those who value independence over conformity.
They’ll all say they value independence. But it’s independence from the greater culture – as a group. Within their sphere of power you are required to conform or suffer.
What this means for me I don’t know. I refuse to bow before pettiness but it is breaking me. I need to protect my soul while sleeping the hostility and micro critiquing are so intense.
Perhaps God can grant me protection to pray. And if I do so, find the fortitude to continue with grace not a grievance a minute.
Grace.
Now there is a good goal for the year.
I’m still struggling with the motivation to care about my life. But should I find that magic perspective I promise to share!
Perhaps looking for it will keep me going.
Toxic Economics
Companies that are “too big to fail” indeed are. Because they employ millions according the globe and if they fold the world crashes into a very nasty economic depression.
As for the wealthy?
They’re not the issue.
Abuse is.
I imagine Bill Gates was tormented as a youth and feels surrounding himself with money protected him better. Particularly as he continued to be attacked even after he had moved on to more decent practices.
FFS let people grow and change.
People don’t understand digital numbers, my father pointed that out. And the larger the number the more it doesn’t seem real.
It’s not till they surround themselves with comforts that wealth becomes obvious.
Some feel the abuse they receive makes them entitled to a lot of comforts. And why should they share with abusive arseholes?
That’s how some feel.
Other people.
I’m not wealthy and I would share.
But people like me us suffer because of the abuse we are surrounded by – no matter where we go.
We should stop talking about guillotines for the wealthy and focus on abusive arseholes across the economic strata.
Wealthy individuals who are also abusive are indeed an issue.
As are the abusive individuals they manipulate.
And the abuse is normalized.
To repeat we need to address the wealthy who are also abusive and are manipulating other abusive people to gain and maintain power and control.
They are choking our economy.
And the issue is abuse.
Stop being an asshole to [fill in a philanthropist] and maybe they’ll feel more generous.
It’s a more practical approach. Stop distracting from the issue.
To again repeat but with different wording. Abuse in American society is normalized to the point any attempt to point it out gets one dogpiled by the poor while the wealthy just manipulate them.
If you’re pulling out the guillotine? Wealth isn’t the issue (says a woman with next to nothing) abuse is the problem.
Wealth is a way for them to have power and control. And they continue abuse to keep it.
For some of these individuals abuse is just the means and if it didn’t fly they would use other tactics.
But they get away with it and are worshipped by wealthy and poor alike.
Because it’s normalized.
And I’m getting complained to in advance because you think I’m defending wealth not pointing out abuse like theirs is the true problem.
You don’t like it? Fix yourself first. But fix the abusive wealthy too. Seek the aide of the others.
I like the idea of universal income with the ability to gain more if you work for it. But we will always have a problem with concentrated wealth.
It’s not good but it’s human nature.
Stop the abusive ones, and fight for universal income.
Now, to remind you, my reinstated goal is to promote understanding of all people and push abusive people back from their victims.
Of course abusive people want me destroyed and unable to communicate or even facilitate others communicating.
I might actually succeed otherwise.
Now count the number of times I wrote the word “abuse”. Now imagine being so surrounded it’s all you can spit out.
If it’s a little overwhelming to read it’s very overwhelming to experience.
Don’t listen to their lies and misinformation, their dodging and reality abuse. Listen to the true message.
Please get along.
Cumulative Abuse in America
It was pointed out that abusive people are sometimes powerful. Or at least sometimes have power over your temper.
Yes they can be. Yes they can.
They gain it by cracking the backs of the people they step on to attain and maintain their power.
I pointed out that those of us with cracked backs or PTSD from attempts tend to unify eventually so they’ll probably cause a war.
Being illiterate might do it too.
I suggested that as a potential unifying force, I was targeted. I wanted to bring people together but I’m proletariat – I had to be isolated and controlled.
The same individual agreed. That was why I was a continuous target.
I have decided to balance being the nicest person with occasional party repost if my comment is productive.
There’s the word I need to remember. Is this statement productive?
It doesn’t matter if anyone believes I already was the sweetest thing you didn’t want to piss off. That’s my goal. To get it back. So in time they will believe I’ve returned to my true nature.
Why is pissing me off an issue?
No one wants the truth bomb that follows when anger loosens my tongue.
Which means abusive arses will never stop because I will never stop trying to bring patience and understanding to the forefront.
Regret times I lost my wording but not the meaning of my words.
Which runs counter to their power.
So does my book that is a signpost to compassion the structure of true healing and growth
I know what to do.
It’s walking the walk I’m working on. But the whole idea is inconvenient for the power of abusive arses.
So it depends if they want a martyr or not.
I guess we’ll see if my will to be a squeaky wheel that brings others together is enough motivation for me to survive your attempts to silence me at all costs.
Those that say I’m the only one they are abusive to?
Thanks for making it crystal clear you’d rather I be a scapegoat than free to write as I will.
Even work not yet published.
Don’t worry, America isn’t always like that.
Sooo…
It’s easy to focus on the negative. But don’t forget, I was dubbed, “The Happy Immigrant”.
A very English response to what they would have seen as a smarmy love letter to America because my birth country is like that.
But I’m American now. And we go in for that sort of thing.
Particularly these days when we really want to be reminded of the good in our country because cultural diversity is being squashed and minimized and more than half the country is entirely fed up with the other half and the feeling is mutual!
OMG America!
This was the land of the brave, remember, as in… oh wait let’s not make an Aldus Huxley reference here.
But the point is, the English stalwarts might have been annoyed with a “what took you so long, by the way these boats leak.”
But the rest of the war-torn inhabitants of the world were relieved to see tall American soldier’s lifting them out of hell!
It seems like a long time ago to our newest generation but not me. But American memory, by nature of the four year term is short. Trump would like more than two goes however so that four year election cycle is looking pretty decent now.
Actually.
The forefathers (most of them) knew what they were doing. Some stuff… meh we disagreed later about. But the constitution was far better than the Magna Carta and Most of the world based their constitution on the American one.
The French gave America the statue of liberty after they were inspired by American ideals.
Do you remember the plaque? Installed later on?
“Give me your tired, your poor/ Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”
We’ve lost our standing in the world and some don’t care. But we should. Because we were hero’s.
Immigrants too.
Don’t you want to live up to hero instead of spit on them?
We can do better.
Because some do.
I mentioned my life being saved, and the incredible resources for the homeless and mentally ill where I am.
Stigma has seemed like a huge problem in Portland. But I think it’s an extreme minority being very loud and abusive. I loved this city until a certain weapon was pointed my way.
I could again.
Just as I love this country. And the freedom to speak my mind. I would like to suggest some of us are tired of the bull crap from the rest. Thank you not-so-much!
Forgot battles over blog posts. This country isn’t built on fear of the tallest poppy. It sure has had issues with it. And some will (reasonably so) disagree as the abuse is so pervasive it certainly seems some citizens are oriented around fear.
But that’s not what we’re supposed to be about. We can do better.
And in America I, usually, do not get shot at for suggesting we return to our ideals- dropping our forefathers racism on the way.
Some communication channels are trying to make us afraid of each other.
Because it sells.
That’s such bull.
We need to stop fake news, overly sensational headlines and clickbait.
We are indeed becoming afraid to leave the house. Because the news is vile.
But we’re all like that.
So it’s not us is it?
It’s loudmouth abusive arses and the loud TV news channels pumping fear. One because it gives them a sense of power and control. The other purely because it makes money.
Maybe if they didn’t feel so powerless, the normalization of abuse would fade.
More reasonable news with less fear mongering might do it.
No.
It’s not all of America.
But all Americans are affected.
Sylvanna Devlin 