Sylvanna Devlin

Are you fucking serious? This is not “why” but “how”? Why is indeed important but we all fucking know why by the time we’re adults. From saving each other, to saving a sense of grace, it’s good to give so others can gain theirs back.

What if it’s severe? Well intention does matter, as does both your histories. And the more you know about why the more you can forgive. But everyone wants to know why I’m mad at a self-described demonized source, and not anyone she used to push me over the edge.

Used being the key word.

What good comes of me holding anger to a stranger, unless they are actually orchestrating death instead of manipulated into action against me?

What good comes of me being vindictive?

What good come of blame?

Come on Sylvanna, we’re talking torture here..

“Do you forgive me?”

“Yes, because you are seeking it.”

No seriously that is how it works with me. I forgive those seeking it because it means they know they hurt me and feel guilty. They need cleansing love and I do have it for those that let go of toxicity.

God how we use that word. Toxicity. What’s the difference between that and abuse? Well it depends on the situation. But when it comes to an entire profession of gaslighting?

Sorry about this. But I know it’s because of pain, isolation, the very real need for money, but most of all because they just don’t have faith in others anymore.

Reasons are private, let’s leave that alone. But that’s part of an entire toxic culture that has abandoned those that need love the most. That’s not abuse in a definable way.

Sigh. I’ll spell it out. (Sorry) They were victims once.

Power is involved, don’t get me wrong about that. None to great is a lot. But examine that see-saw and who is on the other end. Reach out to who you can because those who reach back can be pulled to you.

Gaslighting can delve into reality abuse. But most gaslighting presents a reality then pulls the rug. It is its own category of problematic.

Here’s what you do first. Sorry for the cheesy acronym: Let Real

Let the thought in

Recognize it as an idea, true or false is irrelevant

Evaluate its use

Absorb what you need

Let go

Let R.E.A.L

That’s how you cope with the changing narrative. What’s good what helped and what can you ditch. What gave you an idea. What destroyed you?

That’s coping. So first trick is to cope right? Let the whole thing flow through you. And don’t cling on to hate and bitterness, it turns inwards.

It turns you into gaslighters.

Someone who has turned to an arguably questionable profession has given up on humanity. Please don’t give up on them too.

My worst fear was being abandoned and I was. It felt like by everyone. I drifted. It felt like being gutted and only the civil safety net kept my faith in humanity. I can see giving up.

Am I saying Gaslighting is probably lonely? Yes I am.

I was a victim of severe gaslighting. Eventually my Mum reached out but the gaslighting was too much. And I made a “week in a coma” attempt.

Do I forgive the individual who feels he tipped me over more than any? Yes. Because I do fucking understand giving up on humanity and losing faith this can ever get better, and becoming so entrenched the potential death involved is something one has become numb to. Until a survivor strikes the heart. I apologize if this isn’t your thing. But Bless you for caring again. May your wounds heal soon too.

So back to how. Because I can hear “No offense Jesus Wannabe, but thats just not me” No. no one is expecting you to (well maybe a priest is). But look at the ideas in my acronym again.

Let

Recognize – why

Evaluate – why

Absorb – why

Let go.

My dears we are all hurting each other. And you can be real twice over and forgive. Because it hurts a lot less to have love in your heart than emptiness. And the empty will indeed lash out without enough love.

How? What hurts more? A lingering grudge? Or seek to understand so you can let go and forgive?

“I caused your death”

Did you? Or were you the iceberg?

“I tortured you.”

Well good thing it’s me and I am not inclined to keep a grudge if you seek to love not hate now. And you started that path. You have. That’s enough for me.

“I can’t get past this myself”

That’s why I’m offering love. Because I see your pain and feel for you. We danced together in a pain that we now both feel.

Thank you for taking that mantel from me.