Sylvanna Devlin

Usually when we become depressed we become keenly aware of the darker emotions. Unless we have the kind of depression we don’t feel anything. Then they roil under a calm surface waiting to drag us down when we feel again – at least that’s how being numb feels. You almost don’t want to thaw out but you don’t feel love either, and there’s nothing connecting you to this world.

But what do you have there? Sorrow, worry, jealousy, guilt, anger, grief?

You certainly have the latter as grief is the root of all pain. But no matter what you’re wallowing in, you certainly are covered in mire. The kind that drags you under, if you just keep wading without making any changes.

To be clear though, feeling sorrow, worry, jealousy, anger and grief don’t make you a bad person. And shadow work isn’t there for just depressive episodes. If you want to avoid being a miserable bastard and sending miserable negative energy into your spell work, prayer, or the world at large? Fucking examine what hurts and do something about it.

If it’s all of them read all, because by the time we’re thirteen we’ve experienced all of these and could really do with some pointers on how to handle “undesirable” emotions.

Though first up let’s tackle that concept. These are all rooted in basic survival. But as the world grows more complex so do our needs but they rest on the basic needs.  Food, water, shelter, love.

Yes love is a basic fucking need frankly. And most of us aren’t getting enough so we aren’t giving enough. Because that actually should work the other way. If we give enough out we get enough back right?

Well… do you have a stalker with electronic talents? No. Probably then. But what’s the point of life without love of some kind? Love of work being an option too. Take away your basic needs you die, take away love and society basically kills you off. You can do something about all of those, but not always enough.

But I guarantee that soup kitchen worker who smiles at you and makes your day is part of the reason you’re still alive if you’ve landed at the bottom and if you’ve hovering with enough wealth for a decent latte the barista can indeed make your day too.

Why? We are a fucking society that’s why.  We’re pack animals. That whole “if your friends jumped off a bridge would you?” Is such bullshit. For one if I was young enough for a bungee chord hell yes. But my joints say hell fucking no. But on a more meaningful level we are geared towards making societal connections and thus group activity and behavior is something we have an instinct for even if the group is full of shit. Usually we then need to switch groups.

If you become isolated – as happened to me. There’s still always some guidance, some group, even if it’s spirits. Or you are recovering from a group and lack of guidance. In which case give yourself some time before trying again.

Do not become the lone woman in the woods. I mean sure, yeah you’re likely to attract spiritual company that way. But unless you’re glowy and fae friendly that kind of company might not be what you want. Negative drawing negative. If you’re perfectly happy with yourself and your cat and whomever is around then chances are you’re a writer and I guarantee you will begin to miss people once your novel is finished.

Do we get sick of people?

Yes. By god how do we. But we need those too.

Communes seem like such a good idea. Everyone working together. Loving each other. Separate and away from an abusive world moving at a speed none of us can keep up with. If you can integrate into a group so thoroughly by all means do so. But in actuality they usually cause misery for someone who is a little more unusual than the others. They are groups and non group members – including weirdo kids – are not really all that welcome even if they say otherwise.

As much as we get frustrated with “group thought” and complain about it to our friends what we’re really doing is complaining about – that other group. If we one hundred percent don’t have anyone we will find someone or die. But again. It can just be someone with the time of day for you.

Does finding a group mean everything? Oh I want to say no but I’d be lying. It does. But if you want to be isolated it’s for a reason and you should feel free to sequester yourself till you are willing to try again.

Back to why and chances are likely the solution is in shadow work.

Now pagans use this term multiple ways – one is to describe magic that isn’t healthy and the other to describe self reflection with the purpose of becoming more powerful or putting more good in the world. I suggest the self reflection alone is a good enough reason. But there are lots of techniques for delving down and shoving it sideways to the “dealt with” category. I’m going to go over free thought meditation and prayer.

But I’m also going to go over what they are and why we have them. And sometimes understanding is enough to convince us to feel otherwise. We don’t want to become our shadow selves – the miserable bastards we would metamorphoses into if these consumed us. And we don’t want all that fucking pain touching everything we do.

While useful for safe, practical magic, you’ll find it helpful in daily life. Atheists may have a harder time with these as prayer certainly helps. In which case I recommend you get high and go into deep-state, floating-thought meditation and find some peace that way.

Peace being the ultimate goal. Happiness is a different affair and what you really fucking need when it comes to these is peace.

Peace, love, and happiness being the general goals in life when you think of them. And thus when you want roses and writing you need to unbox, examine, work with, and overcome your shadow self.

Good luck. I still have to fight mine.