Sylvanna Devlin

By request as I’m in unusual circumstances. Some looked at what they were doing and questioned their place in life. Maybe watched a ball roll from an invisible force so they realized these things are real.

Stop pooling that fear and anxiety that you are evil. What you do is not right, but the other energies involved attract that malevolent force staring at me right now. Talking about evil and what is and what isn’t draws curiosity we don’t want.

I’m attracting the gaze just by bringing it up. So no. My gaslighting friends, you are not evil. This is a job. It pays well. It’s not good. It can scar you. But worry less because you’re drawing eyes that would like to goad you into worse spots.

Okay sure Sylvanna, but you committed suicide. You tried to fucking die. Not a half hearted attempt either, but grateful yet annoyed it didn’t work till you found anything, any reason to live. Gaslighting is what sent you there.

Yes, gaslighting of my whole family, some friends, ever building harassment for three years, intense gaslighting for two years, homelessness, hacking, torture (not gaslighting), and eight attempts to use sound to kill me? Did end up tipping me over the edge with just “No one can survive all that.” I agreed and we both feel bad about it.

What am I supposed to do? Sit and stew with attractive anger? No I’m supposed to rant to the gods, and settle the fuck down once it becomes clear this is indeed fucking real.

Once settled I became a lot less volatile and so did the situation. Those paid to hassle me eased too. With help the whole thing became easier to cope with. Which is not what my (her) self proclaimed nemesis wants but what the hell? (Maybe literally I swear I was being watched)

I will get swatted again. I know it. But my dragon temper is better suited to actual, physical self defense then swearing at strangers. Though I might swear at god because “Not again.” I mean come on. How much more do I need to survive?

What she’s promised she will do because dropping a house on me isn’t working so I’m going to cling to god and prayer but that’s beside the point. Are the people keeping me awake evil. Really? No.

Is it of evil when lashing out? When enjoying the release of frustration on another (usually unwilling) person? No. Surprised right?

I mean it’s not exactly good. It can open a window to more dangerous forces creeping in and consuming you. But it on its own is dangerous to both of you. Scarring as it is, it pays well and is better than not having work. Those that gaslight have usually lost faith in humanity or at least the person painted as an arse who seems like a “fair target”. Not that the act is fair but frankly from those whose other option is hunger to one being supported enough to eat, the resentment is at least understandable.

Is it evil working for an individual who likely is acting out of Malice? By per se the one my allies are trying to stop? That’s some out of a job and they are naturally conflicted about whether they want their boss to stop. But some probably feel that way about working for certain politicians. That conflict is not a bad sign and is understandable. But it really depends on what you’re asked to do vs what you’re willing to do. I mean keeping me awake could get bothersome, but I’m not mad. Does just pestering sound like a fucking force? No.

I have advice. But it’s going to be when I bring this up again later. Meanwhile everyone try to chill. Targets are indeed likely to rant and swear and human arrows are likely to want to swear too. You may even fight which does no one any good. But we all need to get used to the idea that some acts are not good, usually morally corrupt and attract the horrible, malevolent, vindictive force that watch’s for an opening at every turn. But not on there own evil.

Evil acts? They scar. So can acts that simply are not good. But they don’t make you evil. Not even crimes of passion. We can turn to good at any time. Turn to god. Pray to be cleansed of the energy inside us wounding our lives. But for some, that is when they get a better job. That does not make them evil that makes them facing hunger otherwise.

May Allah protect your soul, and you find more satisfying work soon.