Sylvanna Devlin

Why the fuck is this separate from worry? Oh you must not actually have to worry about anxiety if you don’t know that anxiety has no fucking logic to it. Because it’s a force within you not a certain aspect of life that you’ve become preoccupied with.

I mean certainly, some of our worries are going to create anxiety in us. Rather like a cup to catch water to use the same euphemism yet again. But anxiety is the stress, the fuss, the inability to stop even if you have faith and usually the need to be medicated into submission. If worry is a natural almost healthy tool for maintaining social health, anxiety is handing a doctor a chainsaw instead of a scalpel.

You cannot get anything done when anxiety has swallowed you whole. Not a fucking thing. It can make you snippy with loved ones. It can even change your perception of the colors the rainbow provides! It’s a close cousin to depression and usually wrapped up in there. And I’m sorry while faith is the antithesis to worry all the faith in the world won’t stop anxiety.

It’s not logical, it’s not reasonable. You can’t argue it away. It’s energetic and needs to be treated as such. One way is indeed medication and frankly the author has such trouble with this particular force of nature I do take meds for it and they usually take the edge off unless I have an anxiety attack.

Now I have had a panic attack so severe I thought it was a heart attack. They gave me a knockout dose of anti anxiety and sent me to get some sleep. Then my psychiatrist prescribed me everything under the sun including weed. Lots and lots of medication to deal with a toxic situation I needed to leave.

Anxiety does have triggers – and those can be dealt with in therapy. And most people if they aren’t prescribing a pill try to treat what you have anxiety about.

But here’s the trick. Once that genie is out of the bag that force is in you fucking waiting. There’s always going to be a new trigger.

Your brain figured out freaking out got it what it needed to get through a rough spot and it’s going to do that to you every time. You might be calm queen in an emergency but melt down in any other situation. Frankly even when my anxiety has literally made me dizzy I can still run after my cat if she escapes out a window.

That’s the key. It wouldn’t be something medicine couldn’t treat if it wasn’t a survival instinct gone bad. The Fight, Flight, or Freeze has no fucking idea how to handle “None of the above”. So adrenaline pours in asking us to pick one. If we don’t? Anxiety.

Yes you can work on avoiding that response over small things unless harassed over small things. Our brains learn “Fuck, this tiny mistake is going to be criticized”. So a period in the wrong spot doesn’t require a perfectionist to cause a panic attack, but you can bet perfectionism is built out of anxiety of being harassed over small details.

What can you do about it other than pop a few pills? Well as it’s energy – hormone induced energy, you can treat it as such. Which sure, I roll my eyes at the idea of mediation in a panic attack. And my choose ten things that are [adjective] trick I learnt from a trauma therapist friend really requires his soothing voice being the one to calm me down. And that’s from a full blown freak out.

One: do not be afraid to medicate. Yes we have a toxic, soma society that requires medicine to function in. But we have a toxic society and we can’t wish it away, so take your damn soma.

Two: If you can meditate or pray regularly it won’t help acute attacks but it brings everything down a notch. Prayer being easier when mediation isn’t an option.

Three: Fucking magic that shit. Put your intentions in the universe in a more than wandering out loud and hoping for it. Maybe you don’t get what you are asking for. But maybe you get what you need. And if nothing else it will cool your tits enough to cool down your anxiety.

Four: Energy work. Yes exercise if you can, but if you can’t learn to control the flow of energy in your body. Imagine your anxiety as a green force that is neither good nor evil but is indeed destructive. Slowly work on changing that force to a different kind like white light or black wisdom.

Five: Sit it out and sleep it off.  No I’m serious. Everything from get high and watch anime from taking a fucking nap. When it comes to anxiety there are occasions you just need to let it run its course and relax after.

Six: Fix. The. Fucking. Problem. Once those tatas have chilled the fuck out, do something about the fucking trigger because the brain will likely register that as a successful fight and then get you to sleep off the adrenaline.

Seven, and last: In an acute attack be kind to yourself that at some point someone made such a big deal over a missed period, that lead to a bad grade, that lead to a tirade? Missing a period now has those ball bearings running along a track just ready for the Big Bad Monster of being yelled at or bullied to come crashing in.

Ah learned behavior. How helpful you are to us as adults. And parents stop being assholes. Thank you. Years down the line your offspring is going to bitch about a dirty table to their kid and cause tears. Stop the fucking cycle. Thank you.

Now back to the pagan idea of this is all for your magic. Sigh. For Christ’s sake there are other reasons to go pagan than witchcraft. Joke intended. But since most pagans want a little witchcraft in their world or at least are both we’re going to address the philosophy that shadow work makes for good spell work.

I mean yes it does. But our shadow selves can find an outlet in spell work too, and that’s just as valuable. Not just in casting magic for intentions but following any form of ritual is going to soothe the beast within. Not some “have a pot of tea” crap. But “have a pot of tea, gaze into a mirror to witness your mood’s expression, ring a bell say a prayer” kind of ritual.

And that’s provided you have a pot for tea, loose leaf tea, a bell and can summon a prayer. But the idea is the same. Most witchcraft that uses traditional tools has an investment phase and it’s not always feasible. You need shadow work anyway.

Just remember anxiety is a force and it can be caused by worry but isn’t actually the same thing. Worry is an idea. Anxiety is energy.