Sylvanna Devlin

With 92 hours awake and 2 hours of sleep at some point madness easily flows. Add to it intense narrative based reality abuse! One disconnects from everything.

Slipping, sliding, flowing stories swimming around each other. Real sounds only some can hear. Characters, plots and plans. It all begins to blur and a dream world makes more sense than the physical.

Until you are left in oblivion.

You cease to exist. Reality becomes a red river of lies above and the blue truth below flowing in an opposite direction. And you are between, floating on both as up and down really has no meaning anymore.

You’ve been reduced to perception alone and any moment now you will cease to exist entirely.

A life raft of words is sent and you’ll call upon your nemesis if you have to, anything to reconnect. Even surrendering to the lure of an abusive, controlling individual with an unusual affect on women.

Unless they were around all the time for years. Then they fear succumbing to crocodile tears and nuerolinguistic programming.

Maybe he improved. I don’t know.

Then you get some fucking sleep and overhear complaints, “you said she would be in the hospital for weeks after all that”

You write about it and someone says, “you think Nepenthe is you? Come back to reality.”

Oh if it were only so simple. And Reactive Abuse less popular in women. Perhaps my book will change that. Perhaps losing a weak form of power is truly the issue at hand.

And I was sent to Oblivion to be destroyed.

Game Over

The name of my book and my current mood.

I am Nepenthe as described as the version in the song – one I’ve never heard. But they knew the story too well for us not to be the same woman.

And reactive Abuse has made me look ugly and angry when I would prefer to be kind and gentle.

“Do you look good enough on the outside to feel good on the inside, yet?”

Please God, get me away from abusive women I’ve never met, pouring nastiness and frustration with security I just don’t understand.

Maybe trying to Vanish me was a bad idea.

Published under Melissa J Devlin

Game Over.

The game changer.

And just possibly the reason Games are being played with my head.

Oh by the way? The hair and glasses thing is real – no makeup required.

Golly I look tired!

A snapshot of “oh who cares about the perfect one right now. Maybe I’ll do myself up for New Year’s Eve!