Sylvanna Devlin

Leaving aside the existential pleasures of allowing thoughts to just flow through unattended to and you really are contemplating nothing specific- just a deep state of meditative bliss.

Sometimes someone is thinking about something specific. But not exactly in the mood to share.

It’s private – about a private topic

Or incomplete and would have been more willing to share if it wasn’t for interruptions

Or it’s about work

Money

A project undone.

Or it disappears upon inquiry like shrodingers thought bubble.

While I understand the teasing “I can see you thinking” – which can lead to laughter and if they want to they can open up and share.

I find it invasive, rude, and inconsiderate to prod with “what are you thinking?”

The answer “nothing” could be true. Or it could be short hand for “Nothing I want to talk about.”

I process some stuff out loud – talking to a someone not physically present or necessarily real. But the rest floats through interrupted but unnoticed. Some things are more private than that.

Some seem geared to a desire for interactive processing of trauma and daily stress. Many just…

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

Why should we have to?

Boundaries deario. Respect that thoughts are private and none of your business. If it’s between the ears it sometimes should stay there.

Here’s an example of “not now”

I think about racial tension a lot – sometimes during events it’s better left alone than discussed. But privacy is not respected in this country and needs to be.

And there you have the three complained about answers to, “what are you thinking about?”

Nothing

It’s private

Not now.

Oh how rude inquiring minds insist and then complain if they don’t like it. It’s beyond frustrating. As intimated, some thoughts are incomplete, or automatic and we’re trying to reject bias we’re not inclined to share! Or is simply fucking private.

A few really do think you’re just picking a fight. Because the answer is one of the three above and you should know by now.

I’m still debating the difference between cluelessness and viscous inquiry. Have they not learnt or don’t want to?

Besides it’s often short hand for “is it about me?”

Not always. And if it is? It’s not always good to voice incomplete thinking or ideas we are processing to reject.

If it is about you, and not part of a conversation, do you really want to know?

Be careful of what you wish for

You just might get it.

This battle seems to rage endlessly, really the inquirer is feeling paranoid and insecure and worried your thoughts are about them.

And the three average answers always cause a fight.

So each think the other is the asshole.

You want open dialogue? Admit your fears and leave the private world alone.

“I’m just asking.”

“Then accept that I don’t want to tell you if it’s ‘just’ or ‘only’.”

It’s usually digging but not always malicious. But those asking need to shape up and shut up.

Just let thinkers think.