Sylvanna Devlin

Entitlement is somewhat recognized. And it’s everywhere. Particularly if an individual wrongfully assumes someone else is better off because what few belongings they have left are nice but very old.

I had a middle class life when I worked for Stanford. Even in the Bay Area the pay was really good.

But I’m on disability now. The supplemental kind. It’s about a third of what Stanford paid me. But it wasn’t nothing.

If America defines class by economic standing I’m one up from homeless and to some wealthy assholes I no longer count.

I ran from an abusive situation twice – the second time with complicated conditions. My father was micromanaging but the abuse was not by him – he was anxious as the trouble there was shared but separately we blamed each other in a vacuum of communication.

Having been tortured and tormented by my abuser. Lied about and blame levied on me. Lies of revolting behavior struck us both. I was upset he blamed me but years later I can recognize I’d almost do anything to make it stop. Likely he just wanted the situation to end.

He cut me off in 2024. I struggled in the heat cooling my cat. My brother winged a bit my way and a friend let me visit every day. Food, bath, safety, it was hot but that was addressed more successfully. Just till the house was too full. I survived thanks to him.

As I mentioned before, I ran in the middle of the night from sex traffickers. The sheriff had been quite responsive to my reports but after the camping ban hit Portland the rest stop changed overnight.

From shelter to subsidized housing. I’m grateful for Oregon’s support and Portland in particular.

Sigh

Bitches are trying to get me to kill myself – sound reducers in, so reduced. They want me to lie and say something I will never state even as a copy of their words.

Back to reality

Entitled women seem to think my middle class background should make it open season on my belongings and personage.

I’m not the only one with a more emotionally difficult past than financial – in comparison. But I do know poverty, when I was young and living in a hostel in unfriendly London.

And now I have 2024, and limitations in 2025 as my mother was more willing to at least get me going.

But I can’t get anywhere with entitled women stealing my what remains of my things, hurling, abuse, have their loved ones hack into my everything. I can’t move forward under those circumstances.

Soaking their bullshit is driving me to suicidal thinking again. I’d rather live but not while listening to their lies.

I say I can’t survive this and as suicide was a result of behavior like theirs. They find it encouraging. They are trying to push me out – like that will stop this. But I have nowhere to go. I can’t go back to Petaluma. I no longer have a car. I need to stay with my cat. Without some work I can’t go anywhere but to great death.

They are starting to attack the entire building to get the cult-click to blame me, the victim,, for their nastiness. The only benefit is that an AI (perhaps trained by twitter – X) responds to every word.

I point out I’m the victim and they change their tune to complaining about a “Victim Mentality” which is, as established, driven into me by abuse and just a survival skill.

But I’m supposed to take the responsibility for their words as well as mine. I have responded with fury but the reactive abuse is intense. My defenses have been worn down and they know it. I crumple quickly with tried words. But they argue they’re “just rude”

They get away with manslaughter. Because deliberately hurting someone into snapping is not considered an emotional assault if they can convince the police, they’re “just rude.”

Okay. I mean they’re hitting my triggers for my PTSD deliberately. But I have to maintain my cool if I want to return to the bright soul within.

They already swarmed enough to destroy is before. God healed it during death. I don’t recommend it as a healing technique. But my very essence is under attack.

I need to save my words to save my soul and they know it. Now there are no consequences for them because I’m not able to shut them down. I usually had a true but pointed reply.

Their insolence, baiting, harassment, and hacking drives me to fury. So my PTSD will skyrocket and they probably hope I would rather kill myself than be that angry.

It’s not too late for my soul. Anyone can turn to god at any moment. Even as a ghost. He can heal me while alive. He already protects my soul. I need to focus on my gratitude to him.

He’s real. I now know it as fact. I will never forget that the pure joy in his presence is one to return to. And I should make sure I great him rather than cycle back.

Most Christians believe that failure will send me to hell or at least purgatory forever. Does that sound like the work of a loving god? He knows I’m the victim. He does is best to heal and protect me. But humans are humans and entitled women seem to think they can boss me around.

No. I belong with him and because I love him and his instructions as offered by the Orthodox church. I will try to do better. Out of love not fear.

I’ll do almost anything for someone I love.

I have to fill my heart with the joy of his presence. The love he brings out. The kindness he encourages.

It’s difficult while my very soul is under attack. But I must remember my loving nature even if it’s been so lied about others aren’t aware it exists until they meet me.

Most of the entitled assholes are people I’ve never spoken to in person. Don’t know me. Haven’t talked to me. But are toeing the line of the cult-click leading women.

I apparently “asking for it”. Because I am exposing their behavior and analyzing their painful base.

I have got to remember these women are suffering. And while I am upset that results in lashing out with an uncontrolled tongue – just for sitting here. I have to be kind that they are wounding their very soul.

By their language, not doing they want is an affront to their existence – even if I’m silent all day. Sleeping or typing. I don’t believe they should try to control me. They hurl nasty words and attempt to wound and micromanage.

I am apparently at fault for existing.

Entitlement is only part of the issue. But one I’ll be exploring. This forms the structure, the base, the surface motivation and behavior. But entitlement goes much deeper than someone else’s better off past.

They sure think they deserve my supplication. But they don’t.