Sylvanna Devlin

Practice using them.

Some are harder to remember if you are not around someone who uses them. Practice is difficult without context. But if enby is a new word for you at least practice using “they”. It’s better than misgendering someone. Then you can practice any specific ones.

I use a new set in my book – and make fun of those who don’t try. But I still struggle with ones I haven’t used or encountered.

Genderqueer characters, or those without any gender because why should they, and characters of an unknown gender usually have ae, aers, aer, aerself. Those I could easily adapt to and fly through using them in my fiction.

Sometimes books get categorized as “gay fiction” for a single gay character. This happened and was fought by a famous mainstream author who wanted people to find her books in her section of the bookstore. Which was either romance or urban fantasy, I can’t remember.

She both didn’t want to disappoint those looking for fiction focused on queer characters. And wanted to yank the existence of gay characters into the light.

No “well nothing indicates this, and I finished all the books but Dumbledor was gay”, Ms Rowling.

Once the book is out there the tweaking of the tale is a no go!

Sorry, writer spat.

The fight to include genderqueer characters is going to be interesting. And currently there are a lot of options for what to use. I just focused on the ones I found easiest for me. As I’m used to those who prefer “they”; because the new ones are yet to go mainstream. I hope to fix that. Provided my books make it into the spotlight.

Maybe if “mainstream” (if fantasy and science fiction count – which they should) authors use genderqueer pronouns we will better absorb the words into our culture and help be more inclusive.

Looking at you romance, fantasy, and sci-fi authors. You’re books are the most popular sections of any.

While I do have a character with no sex or gender – and I use those pronouns for aer, I object to the words being referred to as flat out being “without gender” because fuck you, genderqueer is a gender.

But that’s personal.

I also use them for when the gender isn’t specific or discernible – one hermaphroditic dragon likes them. I still think we need to consider our language carefully as agender is indeed on the wheel of the gender spectrum (Gender is a circle not a line), but we need to respect that a third one is forming.

People who feel that they don’t belong in either are starting to have their identity recognized. Let’s celebrate and note we are now recognizing and adding to our culture a label for the way people already felt – but younger folks questioning their gender have a “go to” for “neither of the other two* thank you.

*well more than that. But let’s start recognizing three and then move on to other specific genders that aren’t woman and man.

If someone likes pronouns that you are not familiar with, use them. I don’t care if they look like a woman but identify as a man, or they look like a man but you’re pretty sure their sex is not in the same narrow checkbox.

In California asking for pronouns was supposed to be with all people (well at least San Francisco) but it gets weird sometimes, and insulting.

When you introduce yourself please (if you feel safe) offer your preferred pronouns. If you feel safe being key.

It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with that, even the queer community sometimes has peer pressure. Go at your own pace and look into blogs.

As far as books go, my mother found “Intersex” a little boring. But I haven’t personally looked. I know some who liked it. And it’s likely that those born intersex gravitate towards a genderqueer identity – that’s not always the case

Yes people are born with both parts or they aren’t there, or they’re in a different spot. They have support groups btw if you’ve grown up without that option.

Genderqueer is another option whether you were born with male or female body parts (or both). Or you hit puberty and grow breasts because your hormones neglected to tell you that you were XXY

Which can result in never finding out, or puberty changes more than usual.

Sorry side quest.

Anyway.

To shorten a long post (too late)*

*thank you the movie “Clue”. Now if you want to hear a nice voice Tim Curry and Alan Rickman. Oh my god.

Again, anyway. Use the preferred pronouns. Who cares if they’re new, and of course they’re “made up” all language is. Practice if you can. Just don’t be an ass.

There’s a bumper sticker.

Don’t be an ass.