Sylvanna Devlin

So… I’m about 75lbs overweight. My fat will help me shrink. As the number of cells we have is entirely static. But boy can they swell.

If your mother or grandmother went through a period of hunger – you’re going to be born chubby. If your genes say “hey, we need coverage.” The number of cells are set.

That much I learned in middle school.

Those precious (not so little in my case) cells are part of an organ trying to keep us warm and energetic enough to survive.

But it can send the signal (leptin) that “hey we’re plenty big, could we eat less and burn more?

But leptin doesn’t communicate that if it’s blocked by insulin. We know how we get spikes of that! Sugar binges are easy to fall into and bad for your leptin!

Now I’m addicted to sugar. Which is difficult because it’s in everything and we need some to survive. Our brains run on glucose. Our muscle stores glycogen they make from glucose. We need sugar – or at least carbs that convert nicely into it.

That’s where the glycemic load comes in. Not the index, screw that one. Carrots have a high index but good luck eating enough of those to worry! No glycemic load is where it’s at.

I understand what to do. I know how to eat healthy. And I know if I cut the sugar weight loss is natural.

And I used to cut it to under 100g a day preferably no more than 50g. My body knew what to do.

But addictions are chemical and your brain likes its easy access glucose. There’s probably some serotonin crap with sugar because I vaguely remember dopamine is too brief to settle in. I don’t remember.

Both are involved for sure. Shortbread has the perfect sugar, fat, carb ratio to have an effect on your dopamine so strong it could be considered an opioid-like effect.

But a lot safer on your joints!

Which might be why some of us suffering from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and fibromyalgia find ourselves a bit tubby! Painkillers are dangerous and pain will drive you up the wall and down again. Never mind “other” factors.

At some point our weight is too much for our joints. And I’m sorry (not really), we’re supposed to feel fat and fabulous. But I don’t. Maybe fat. Maybe fabulous in the way used in the queer community. But while my body has been kind with distribution, my joints are still mad!

And the mirror is only my friend if I’m not naked. And from certain angles.

But emotional eating got me so far and medication added another 60. I kept getting my emotional eating under control with copious amounts of Diet Coke. But I’m out. And the extra 60 were while homeless and barely able to afford to eat, so yeah. Medication is not an excuse it’s a reason.

Sugar was in the last month or so. And now it’s out. I want to lose weight and I want to avoid diabetes. But my brain is mad!

I’m hungry beyond belief because what it wants is easy sweets. The only thing I remember curbing that appetite was a shit tonne of protein. No idea why. But it’s still cranky pants time for the next five days (seven if it’s bad) and the insatiable need for food for 1-3 days depending on depth of succumbing to temptation. I don’t remember how long I’ll be foggy headed and it’s also a symptom of fibromyalgia. It was too long ago before developing it to remember and that’s because I hadn’t done this since 2014! I’m also going to be shaking and shivering a little but no more so than when I eat too much salt.

Food oriented shakes and shivers suck but I don’t have the experience to know how similar that is to hard drugs. So please, if sugar is this bad? Back off those trying to kick something severe.

It’s a good thing I live on my own!

It’s vital to kick sugar down a notch. Dr Lustig wrote, “Fat Chance” which gave me most of my understanding of that persnickety organ we need but hate.

It loves us, trying to do its job. Love it and lose it by being friends and drop the microwave diet food. They’re tasty but made by the same company that makes junk food. They don’t actually want you to lose weight.

I forgot where I read that, but read that label. Fat is where the flavor is (says the vegan). I think I learned that from Dr Perlmutters book, “Grain Brain.”

The knowledge of glycogen and exercise comes from Dr Rob Thompson.

I highly recommend those three books to cover all you need because this is not medical advice. More a warning that when you quit the sugar your appetite will spike and your mood will plummet. I mean sure, you thought you’d be a bit moody.

No. I mean fucking irritable as fuck for the adjustment duration. It’s not your imagination. Don’t get gaslighted out of the truth.

Kicking sugary foods to the curb is necessary, but initially sucks like all hell.

The good news is fruit will taste better and you will become much more sensitive to sweetness and thus enjoy different foods.

You might feel canned pasta is revolting, but the real stuff is delicious. Just keep it in moderation – which you can if you’re keeping the sugar low.

Dr. Lustig suggests nothing but occasional fruit and maybe, if you have to, desert once a week. It’s not ideal. Less to nothing would be better. But he eased up in his second book, “The Fat Chance Cookbook”.

And that’s it and why you might be tempted to ask if it’s that time of the month. (Not a myth, but doesn’t diminish the legitimacy of objections)

Sorry, my sugar-free sweet self will try to return, depending on if the dragon in me can take a nap. We’ll see if the reactive abuse lets up!

We can live in hope.