Sylvanna Devlin

All forms of abuse crosses boundaries. They’re key to psychological wellbeing. It also revels a level of disrespect it can at minimum generate constant anxiety and at the worst, entirely suppress personality.

Boundaries define our interaction with the world. And thus differs in different cultures. Most are familiar with the different train rides in Tokyo vs The Bay Area (California, USA)

The idea of personal space is easy to recognize in the physical world but also a good way to describe our need for mental privacy and room to exist.

Ignoring them can be as dangerous as trying to continue on the other side of a locked door, or more subtle.

“Leave me alone”

Subtle enough for you?

Reactive abuse is sneaky. A semi-innocuous phrase that wound but others don’t know why.

Some even abuse the very word “Boundary” to inflict abuse and deny response.

It can affect you emotionally, and affect your ability to communicate what’s happening, as well as other forms of cognitive abuse.

As a note, trying to force communication is the same so psychologists need to know when to back off, and others need to respect hiding in the bathroom to cry.

Usually you would learn them as subconscious “rules” on what to say, how to act, even how to perceive the world. But some either don’t want to acknowledge them, grow up with them, understand what they are, or they change.

It shouldn’t be too hard to recognize respect, treat others with it, expect some for yourself, have some for yourself, and in general all of you stop this school ground behavior of treating everyone so casually, you’re rude.

I don’t want to get groceries and deal with forty year old teenagers sparring with words.

So right now I don’t go out.

I am fed up on my privacy being invaded and disrespectful bullshit slung my way, and whining when I sling some back.

It’s true, I could stand to be more respectful with disrespectful assholes. But it is difficult not to reply with the same venom spat at me.

I’ve tried pushing back abusers every way – including ignoring them. Sometimes it’s not possible. But worth a try anyway.

I would like to go back to being the village sweetheart but the reaction around here is “No one believes that of you anymore.”

It hurts

God it hurts

And they think the village sweetheart means punching bag.

That hurts too.

So how do I enforce my boundaries when I can’t even walk away?

I don’t know.
If I survive their disrespectful abuse I’ll say how.