Sylvanna Devlin

TLDR

Some individual seemed to incorrectly be summarizing and some asshole thinks mental illness means she can boss me around. Other than that. Fucking read the whole post before reacting. Once published.

Things have changed since I wrote this. But I can’t be bothered to edit it. This was the situation this afternoon.

From what I can tell, the character assassination, mutilation of my genitalia, theft of my work, interference with my career, the hacking and harassment were all to leave me lying paranoid and in filth out of…

There’s no reason good enough.

And you almost succeeded in killing me.

Again,

Why? To make me less attractive? I need the dentist now. Are you going to harass and harangue me every time I go in for a filling?

Steal my things so I never leave the room again?

Manipulate and control everyone around you so people I’ve never met hold hatred for me?

“Hehe. Why give her some fucking privacy. We hate her.”

Do you even know why?

How about the constitutional right to privacy. Is being an American enough for you to behave like your ideals matter?

The constitution is administrable. Americans were respected and saved lives. Now the perception is that they’re stupid and ignorant. Do you want to contribute to that? Or rise above it?

Fucking born in America and think you’ll always be more American than some immigrant?

Fucking act like it. Respect your constitution.

Maybe it is your entire lack of respect for me as a human being has left me frothing.

You’ve told so many lies the creature of wrath you said existed did indeed come to fruition. Though I never act upon it, your reactive abuse is near tenable in the way it physically harms me.

My heart isn’t the same,

I have lost hair.

My weight loss keeps getting interrupted.

My motivation for exercise waning.

My self esteem tattered.

And my soul is ruined.

You make fun of a beginner! Delight in every mistake. And mock the very idea of learning.

I want to work but can’t yet so so still need the pittance from the federal government and you say you plan to complain to them.

And I believe you.

I have skills I need to learn and writing I need to do to have any kind of career but the ongoing compounding of my PTSD scuppers all hope to escape financially. But you resent taxes you are not paying going to support me.

Really it’s just a way to fuck me over.

Why again?

Yeah. I have your Jealousy. Your need for Power. And your need for Control compounded by Fear as your only motives.

I want out and need to become capable of working more than six weeks at a time. Part time! (If that). You claw me to death each attempt to learn.

You try to micromanage me to my end like PTSD and bipolar are an invitation to attempt to run and ruin a life.

They’re not, since you need that boundary pointed out specifically.

Mental illness is not mental incapacity and PTSD is altered mental strength but not capacity. Range of ability yes, but each symptom and need for aide and accommodation is personal to the individual. And up to the individual to decide.

I’m struggling because of people like you. But it doesn’t mean I require someone inviting herself into my life to “direct me”.

Is your lust for power so intense?

To be more succinct. I need disability right now. But being disabled doesn’t mean I need you as the boss of me.

Are you so ignorant that the mere words mental illness summon up the mental image of fictional psychopaths vs actual examples like the famous mathematician John Nash?

Your only way to feel secure is not to address your lack of education, but attempt to corral and control me?

Is that what’s going on?

Stigma?

You think mental illness impedes intelligence?

It was a long time ago that I was last tested. I’ve been melted down and recovered a few times since. But my IQ is probably a lot higher than yours. To the point no one is on my level so I value other qualities.

Which would be nice if you displayed.

But teaching myself the basics of set theory isn’t valued by you because all you think of is Ven diagrams. So you don’t even recognize absent-from-the-present intellect

Again, being mentally ill doesn’t make me stupid you fucking assholes.

Mental illness and PTSD don’t make me the bogeyman either. But if I’m not already, you will use reactive abuse to make me seem it?

You think my mental illness means you should get to boss me around like a child? Though I worry on that front,

It does seem likely your ignorance really is the problem.

But you’ll gaslight motives into being to disguise plain old fashioned fear. Invent boyfriends I would have liked to be informed I have. They probably would too!

I hate living with you as much as you hate me and I’m trying to let go of such poison.

You object to my objections! Every post I have tries to acknowledge that not everyone is so narrow minded. So I doubt it’s the average individual who takes umbrage. Rather those behaving with uneducated ignorance because of stigma.

Again, I don’t even know who you are. But if you take this personally? It is.

My cat already has to come everywhere with me. She’s afraid to be alone and afraid to be without me.

You keep threatening her too!

But point out all you did to fuck me over? And apparently I’m abusive.

I can’t ever be happy again – you’ll just turn up the pressure to destroy me. I can’t trust again, so many of you have lied to my face,

Has everyone read every scrap I wrote.? Even while trying to figure things out? You mutilated my copies while who knows what you did with yours. I don’t know. You’re so busy lying and stealing from me it’s barely worth it to write again.

Oh wait, is some little fuckwit summarizing without being literate enough to comprehend what the fuck is actually being said? Or the truth is that inconvenient to her lies?

Do you use AI for TLDR and that AI sucks?

God I hope it’s that simple.

I want to feel pretty on the inside now, you fucking assholes. But it’s hard when everyone shits on you so heavily there’s no point to being alive.

Leave me alone.

“Could the psycho in the middle leave the other psycho alone so the other, other psycho can get some sleep?”

He meant it kindly, but was fed up as fuck! I miss that neighborhood!

On the cutie patootie front. I tried pulling out resistance bands to at least consider working out.

My cat became very interested!

I might have to rethink this.

As an addendum: maybe the bathroom isn’t the best place to try to communicate. All I could hear was complaints you think I’m “a baby”. For objecting to abuse! What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have a better reason than stigma that isn’t a pack of lies?

This post got loo-room commentary before it came out. Like somehow everyone knew of a system to invade my privacy and peace of mind.

If I don’t care what you call me will you stop? Sure. I’m a baby for not wanting to be abused. Whatever.

Again

Seriously

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Are we all done now? I’ve said my bit and you whined about it before it was even publicly available. Can you now settle the fuck down?

God I hope so.