Sylvanna Devlin

Victim

With abuse as prevalent in America it’s no surprise that Victims are frequently looked down upon. Wrong as that is.

I didn’t want to admit to being one for a while after my divorce.

It made me feel weak.

That’s the wrong attitude to have.

Victim

I also, for a long time felt admitting it made me seem stupid.

Victim

It’s okay if you have these two issues facing what has happened to you.

Being the victim doesn’t make you stupid. Some people are just that huge an arsehole.

Some are that good at lying.

Some are that desperate for power.

Some won’t give you the space to be anything else, twisting your honor back at you so there’s no way to stay sane.

Reactive abuse, and weaker on stronger abuse relies on the honor of their victim.

With the latter, you’re too strong, too powerful, too capable to be able to fight back.

It doesn’t make you stupid or weak.

Victim

Indeed most abuse is heavily dependent on inner jealousy by the abuser, or lack of control in the rest of their lives.

Victim

If it’s about you it’s because they perceive you as so much better you have to be torn down.

Victim

If they lack power in other ways and are taking it out on you it’s about their boss, their community, this society, this country.

Not you.

Victim

I survived all kinds of crap from others, before accepting the word

Victim

It has been a journey. And it’s ever present in the background for some while trying to recover – fertile ground for another to destroy you.

Victim

It’s even mocked

“A victim mentality”

Are they talking about those who are abusive who wrap being a victim around themselves like they enjoy it?

Or a victim who has so often – and so deeply been abused. They have developed an awareness for it.

Because the latter seems practical.

The society (run by abusive arseholes) seems to dissect the strata that abusers are somehow higher on some scale somewhere – than victims.

Because abusive arseholes step on the backs of anyone they perceive to be in their way, or are jealous of. (Or both)

But then they get mighty fed up of actual victims getting actual support. You survive abuse and a target pops on your back out of further jealousy and a misplaced sense of power.

Indeed abuse is about power and control (to point it out, yet again). So they see one person’s victim as anyone’s victim. So to them? Why can’t they be an arsehole too?

Imagine the frustration and fury when, in this society, you refuse to be ashamed that someone put a target on your back and everyone’s pot shots almost killed you.

Victim

Victim

Victim

I’m the bogeyman apparently because I’m not scared or ashamed to say

I am a victim

Of such harassment and abuse I have come to understand we need to hear and grow comfortable with the word

Victim

For us to progress away from abuse we need to to grow comfortable with seeing the word and balancing out.

What more can I say there that I haven’t already?

Just that I am not going to shy away from accepting that I have been their:

Victim.