Sylvanna Devlin

America is pretty diverse but a sub crowd is extremely judgmental about all things – in particular blaming a victim for any abuse – even if it was unavoidable.

Reactive abuse is a sneaky method of trying to gain and keep power and control. Even the victim may not realize they’re not the problem!

Anger is a biochemical response to, “hey that hurts” physical or emotional. We’re skewered and our psyche is saying , “I think we’re fighting”

Even if you would prefer to avoid ever feeling mad at all.

So stop your: “She’s just trying to get a rise out of you”

Because that means

She’s the asshole

And you need to seal up like Fort Knox when it comes to some individuals.

The “mean girls”, “prima Donna” bull crap comes to mind.

I don’t have a better suggestion than cultural recognition that of course baiting works – or they would stop.

But it’s not for the victim to stop it from working. We don’t “let” it happen. They work every nerve looking for a wound and if they can’t find one they make one.

So what to do when some arse tests your temper and lands. You’re hurt. So of course you’re angry. It’s even worse when they’re doing it “for the lols”

Like OMFG what is wrong with humanity?

Anger isn’t the issue

They are

But I’m not holding my breath they learn to be anything but bullies and [censored]

So what can I do?

I don’t know yet.