I am Melissa Devlin, but you can call me Sylvanna.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
(Because I can’t spell)
I’m grieving. I don’t really want to explain over what. It will hopefully become clear in time. So I’m taking a break from any online presence, other than a daily picture to prove I’m alive and not in the hospital.
Here we go.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
…Without stepping on a rug with mud stained shoes – because some things I can legally talk about but shouldn’t.
Mysterious I know. But while most of Portland has heard the latest, there’s so much more I haven’t mentioned. And a few things I finally got too frustrated to hide. Not that I feel like mentioning them again.
So how am I actually doing?
Things are… not good.
Last night I had a “stolen work, shat on work, deleted work” problem. I ended up sobbing, suicidal, and loud. Writing was part of my identity. In the past it was all I did. But now millions of pages of work (I’m not kidding) has been stolen and used to train an AI.
That includes my unpublished partially written work. Used to write and try to steal my own language. Right now I’m yelled at with suggested autofill like a wheel of words. She writes what the AI thinks I will.
I do have questions of copyright when it comes to relying on AI to write. Is it even yours anymore?
Probably not. Particularly in this case.
Right now I’m currently being harassed as I type. With what goal?
Actually to kill me.
I can’t write remotely in my own voice. I can barely stand…
No. I’m done.
Figure it out for yourself.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Sorry for the brevity of the post. But I have a simple idea and the context of the need is overwhelmingly obvious.
Guns
The interesting part of gun ownership – as a collection. Is many haven’t used their weapons, and hopefully won’t need their whole arsenal. They’re kept clean. Some even pride on dismantling them quickly and reattaching the parts. But Gun ranges are few and far between. Mostly closed off from the public -With the exception of Los Vegas but should we be surprised?
What I noticed from an absurd amount of mythbuster episodes (they tested myths as the name implies), was just how much fun the presenters had with a few well placed targets and a lot of bullets.
So here’s what I suggest. More ranges to become members of and only ranges can keep certain bullets. I’m aware I’m King Mides with the tides when it comes to my preferred solution: banning the shit out of them. And I really question what counts as “self defense” in some parts of the country.
But come on you have the arsenal and the bullets to feed machines of war. Wouldn’t it be better to have somewhere to use them as long as the general public could not own bullets?
Sure it sounds like a technicality, but so? It would reduce the number of accidents and overly armed classroom shooters. A proper handling seminar could be required.
I had to get a licence to fucking scuba dive why shouldn’t the paperwork some already get (sometimes) come with better strings attached? More a blanket fairness that, if you want to shoot them, it requires a little education first. Whether or not you progress on “right to carry” laws.
One small change legally (sort of) and a lot of job opportunities when a new form of recreation centers open?
I mean people kill people, but the guns help, but the real issue is the projectile involved. Why wouldn’t that sound like a better answer than thoughts and prayers?
Oh hand wringing, “what else can we do?” You can take your “thoughts and prayers” and shove them up your arse. This is what we could do. Control bullets not guns.
No context for you!
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Adapted from “Game Over” a narrators perspective
Once you identify a bullshitter you realize his tricks are paper thin. It’s spotting them in the first place that is difficult. But after that you quickly get used to them saying just enough and letting you fill in the details – those times they’re not taking the details of your story and wrapping themselves in a cloak of them.
Sadly individuals like Sylvanna were prime picking for those two tricks. So many people relate to her she’s never put on guard by shared experiences. And while she appears well spoken at times – she swears she still is not. Because sometimes she can’t get her full idea across but has been blessed by friends who did know what she was trying to say. So she understands others might struggle too.
The red flags for her are how self serving they are in the hands of con artists like Toad and Peaches. “I’m sorry for what I said.” Isn’t actually an apology from someone who thinks those words are precious baubles.
For which part, you dickhead?
“There are some discrepancies on these forms”
Gets the reply:
“Oh, what are they?”
The instinct is to help. In the mouth of the innocent is is confusion, in the words of a worm? Laziness. Many mental illnesses and learning disabilities have their symptoms labeled by such. Let’s be clear. That’s horseshit. But it should also be clear by now, lazy people also do exist. So far the Diagnostic Manual does not include habitual deceit on Toads level of con artist. Though you’ll find lying is still in there.
Sylvanna maintains some lies are unintentionally entertaining in retrospect.
She was given a Katana by Toad “It’s real.”
*Cough* Snicker
It’s pretty clear he didn’t realize Sylvanna was aware of three things:
Let’s add d) She had held a real one before. I tried getting an explanation of the feel but her answer was “If it doesn’t kiss the energy in your wrists it is not authentic.” As she has no idea how else to express it, and I have no idea what she means I gave up. Apparently it makes sense if you are passed one already unsheathed. In her circles drawing another’s was considered rude, but Sylvanna doesn’t actually know if that was more widespread. I’m not doing a global hunt just to find out, so I’m not going into why either. But easily said, I don’t think Toad knew how much she respected a well crafted sword of any origin.
When Sylvanna was still known as “jail-bait” she spent a whole weekend at a convention with a friendly weapon-smith all too glad for the company, and to keep others at bay. Thus her first lesson in how to handle a blade came from the one who made it. It was a different kind but he taught her what to look for. She has been lucky for an unlucky person.
The plastic on the fake Katana is a bit of a dead giveaway too!
At least the box is the right height for your staff.
She never told Toad any of that, but she soon learnt you could also tell the Katana was fake because he specifically mentioned it wasn’t. Which is also why I’m pretty certain anything private she listed as off limits was no doubt looked at.
I just want you to all imagine the confusion and doubt from sneaking around her back to find a maple wood penis. I almost wish it was deliberate. Had I thought of it I would have started planting condoms. So I suggest you do if you’re concerned your partner is a snoop – leave flavored ones. Sex – The active kind – and sexuality aside; you’d find out if they’ve been looked at. Racy knickers might work too.
Bonus if they try to turn it into accusations you are the one who can’t be trusted. Tell them a god suggested it. Merely for the humor value. Mine, yours, ours. You are more than welcome to say they’re for Bran. Finally! A giggle-fit from Sylvanna. I don’t know about you, but I feel better.
Con artists have three other huge tell tale signs most easily seen with the themes:
“Treat me as I deserve! I am a pretty (petty) swan!”
Self- Entitlement
“I crafted this! It’s flawless. It gets me what I want. How dare you question it!”
Inability to change
“I am special. I’m never wrong. If you think I’m behaving badly the fault lies with you!”
Blame shifted to others for refusing to fall for his horseshit.
Meanwhile victims frequently, not always, hide his emotional response. Because they tend to have one or both thoughts akin to:
“I feel so stupid.”
“Admitting to being a victim makes me feel weak.”
Sylvanna had both beneath her skin for a long time, and spent years plucking up the courage to let me say she felt that way – right up to the point of writing the book. But someone had to let everyone else know. It’s okay to feel that way. Because everyone who went through something like this does. We know:
“I felt so foolish, degraded, and powerless. I wanted to hide what I could now see. I did not want admit to myself someone else had managed to take control of me – of any part. Even if it was not entirely.”
Gaslighting relies on the fear of the gaze in the mirror.[1]
Let’s cut the crap with an admission women aren’t supposed to make so a god is doing it instead. Sylvanna is extremely intelligent. Enough to be very confident of it in private. But not in a way that fits in anywhere useful other than making fun of society. Though I maintain that might be the best place for a long-term thinker.
She doesn’t seem to notice much when you’re around her at first – because, as mentioned, she’s observing too much to process all at once.
Plus what she does notice she frequently doesn’t comment on – either because it doesn’t occur to her, she considers it obvious when it isn’t. Or no one understands her questions when she does say something.
“Who is really is the leader of User interface design outside the project manager?” The answer from the intelligent but dimwitted, is an aggressive “You don’t get it.. That is the leader.”
From the thoughtful. “There are so many departments involved it more evolves than any one group have the reigns.”
Being in charge doesn’t make you a leader. Fuckwit
Well the ignorance of that just explains why we have such a clear and memorable incident.
While a very old issue, the misunderstanding doesn’t usually matter enough to Sylvanna and thus they are difficult to remember. Except word bounced through two people to her father – across the Atlantic and back again – and he thought it a particularly interesting question and mentioned it to the Mum. Sylvanna wasn’t expecting her mother (Now fourth hand) to comment on computer usability. Which is how Sylvanna learnt of the academic trail. One should be careful on strangers they shit on, you never know what will trickle back. But at least we have an example.[2]
Asking questions is a frustrating process that has made some of the brightest individuals intrigued, and some of the least-intelligent-smart people unable to admit they don’t understand her.
You know, it’s okay not to understand someone so long as you’re not a dick about it. Some people are just that different. You are not born knowing all the thinking patterns of other people, and unless you’re like Sylvanna and explored nearly everything, you usually don’t have a chance to learn.
Which brings us to Sylvanna’s entire attitude towards intellect. She views an iceberg of quotients to be a poor perspective, and instead prefers the idea of a mountain range. And while she could climb to the top of a mountain and lurk; she prefers to take her aptitude for psychology in trek into trek of other peoples perspectives.
Which is also where she does what very few people can come close to achieving… admitting others are better at what they naturally do best. You would think it not hard. But be ready to put your prejudice in check. The example might make you think twice – at least. Because a lot of people underestimate what it requires to actually keep the peace.
Personally I was going to use a different example but lost a bet to St. Michael the Archangel, and he’s been watching over Sylvanna longer.
Sylvanna could guess police work took understanding of multiple sciences but couldn’t even get to the mountain chain that is involved. Nope, the lifelong smartypants just couldn’t do it. She doesn’t have the training nor as much capacity for that style of thinking. But she finally got on the path to take a look at what that’s like. Then she found a book on it.
Every police officer has to take a battery of tests on basic maths, science, language skills, and score above average on reasoning and memory skills. They must pass physical tests. They must clear a thorough background check including a credit report. They must have an excellent track record of good judgment and pass questions on cheating, lying and stealing – some required to take a polygraph! Does that sound like “cops are stupid?” No it doesn’t.[3]
A lot of people who consider themselves particularly clever would still make terrible police officers And such individuals do not offer recognition for a talent in law enforcement. But to have that combination of abilities is just as significant as abstract thought (or some such).
This is why the term dimwit is focused on in the book. To emphasize it is about lack of thinking, not capability. Because aptitude isn’t always something that can accurately be measured. And if it can, it might not be in a way compatible to others with the the same gifts.
One thing Sylvanna has noticed overall? Truly intelligent people tend to be curious not closed-minded. Who is she to judge? What a very good question – that you have to answer for yourselves. Is it, or is it not, obvious?
Frankly there’s just too much going on in her head to ever explain everything she’s thinking about – and trying to make it linear tends to get thoughts to collide. Which is why she became a writer. She wanted to show what the world looks like to her. Because spoken word would never be enough.
You know what’s important about all this?
It’s okay to be super-duper great at what you do – and that’s top work at a top research facility, and not always on point intellectually or even in the right fucking mood to think.
Not that it matters to this because:
Falling for lies is not a sign you lack intelligence or are too trusting.
Some people are, just really, that good at lying.
As clever with fibs as others are at unraveling the workings of the world.
Sylvanna saw a bright soul in Toad and fell in love with what turned out to be no more than a facade. So she also doubted her spiritual vision. But again, some con artists are very good. And Sylvanna had been tricked before.
She easily sees what’s right about a person. But has a harder time spotting when justice and kindness are only taken on as an image, and at the root there is nothing of either of those qualities in the individual. They often perform deeds helping them project the illusion. But it is for love of attention not the love of mankind.
It’s true, Sylvanna is particularly fond of humans. But as a result she is less likely to see the evil in another. Those with kind hearts, strong will, and passion for the care of others make prime targets. It’s not your fault if someone is better at lying than you are at determining the truth. It’s human nature to work together or mankind would never have gotten this far. That some abuse the very instinct of cooperation makes them the aberration. Not you.
[1] This is one reason why Trump supporters can be blind. Who wants to admit to being duped?
[2] Incidentally that semi-famous individual’s name has been forgotten – all that remains is a link and where to find out if she could be arsed. And she can’t.
[3] Please note, as just mentioning the police has consequences. Abolishing them leaves people like Sylvanna without protection. It’s just not a good idea. Same with judging equipment involved as they match to crimes. An all terrain vehicle may seem excessive – unless you know that area is aggressive about human trafficking and the roads are too shitty to risk being stopped by a flat! That is however, entirely separate from racial conflict – which is a more complex issue that is too important to relegate to a footnote. Doing without police isn’t going to help, but neither will the status quo when it comes to problematic precincts.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
From “Game Over”.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
From “Game Over” A narrators perspective.
CN: Thoughts of suicide and a different angle on (non performed) self harm. If you experience the urges for the latter you may wish to read this anyway. What Sylvanna came to understand is vindicating. And it just might help.
For this it’s worth knowing. Sylvanna’s heroic therapist convinced her to put the crisis line on her phone, and stick it in her list of favorites. She did call them at one point, and she wasn’t carted off. No ambulance or police came to her door. She was talked through a rough patch and turned around.
She can not recommend enough that you do the same, sane or not. Maybe one day it won’t be for you. It is a safety net we fear, but if you drop into it he can do more than help you survive. he can turn around your perspective in a very good way. These are professionals.
On to the point of this essay. We get back to mentioning them.
Sylvanna’s joints may have always become an issue one day. The Fibromyalgia that made it worse was possible but brought on by the acute stress. The difficult PTSD was hard to avoid. Unfortunately the repercussions do not stop there. Anger or PTSD caused hours – sometimes days/weeks/months of torture, we understand. What if, on rare chance, something triggers rage?
It first caused her to bolt.
Then, tears streamed down her face, her heart would beg for suicide. She could not stand the feeling her mind and body screaming for the emotional pain to stop with her life so she could never feel such psychological agony again.
Anything but this.
No. Let it never come to this again. Let us be done.
The first time she called the crisis line, she tried without the second. The yearn for death would pass. But next came a symptom that contained a revelation she was not expecting. The urge for self harm, but slowed down and controlled.
When she would hurt herself in the past she would claw her own arms – a knife having cut too deeply before. When the urge was not present she never understood how she could get past the pain.
Then, she learnt there is a physical aspect
As the desire for death passed, her left arm began to crawl for wounds like the body preparing itself for touch but without that form of pleasure. Soon after her other hand with razor sharp nails would eagerly join the urge and be and ready. Her psyche wanted the same (but different) strength of sensuality.
To be clear, self harm was not sexual. Sylvanna has the experience to assure you It’s not remotely the same.
Dark arousal of the urge to slice, rip or claw is unique. And horrific. The pain you want to inflict, the blood you want to see, so dangerous and powerful it is akin to passion but no where near close to pleasure. Satisfaction? Yes. But fleeting.
It is just hard to resist because your flesh is calling for it.
Pain, at that point, has its own form of lust.
Sylvanna managed to calm, letting it pass with determination she pulled from the depths of her soul. Sheer will er ex would not entirely destroy her. But she did not forget the very nerves of your body react differently when the psyche is screaming for blood.
Maybe don’t judge yourself or others for self inflicted harm. You need to be unmovable to resist the magnetic pull. And humans are creatures of motion.
The second time holding back the urge to bleed failed. She doesn’t even remember the trigger, just that part one was in some ways easier to avoid than part two.
The third was a snafu with medication that drove her over the edge. She called the crisis line for that one. She knew she could resist the urge to die, but not the body’s yearning for razor sharp nails.
The angel on the other end of the phone got her through, and a friend was available for the deconstruction of unexpected intensity.
It took unusual will and self-preservation to get to the point she could find a way to hold out till it passed. It’s possible. But you need to know what you’re up against first.
Your very own body.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
At least now you convinced me to help you analyze it to pieces.
Someone has to and that’s you. I don’t have other dedicated druids I could persuade to let me prod at them on a single traumatic topic for five years.
I wonder why…
“I only did (This horrendous and unfair thing) because you_________.”
“I only abused you because you made it so easy.”
“I hurt you because you were so vulnerable.”
“I only hit you because you didn’t listen.”
“I hit you because you didn’t listen.”
I only behaved this way sbecause I wanted to control you.
“You were a mistake!”
Own your shit.
Are you supposed to… which part?
Under the puss.
Okay. That’s fair.
[1]Thor’s Hammer. You may have heard of it. But remember the name. It’s going to show up again. A lot. Usually in Sylvanna’s hands – or her argument at least.
[2]As a note from Sylvanna. Women experience this too – but not as much. And since first taking note, I’ve observed it is almost invisible when directed at men – at least to others of all genders.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Okay Caveat as some know I am going back to my pursuit of the Orthodox Christian church. But (Sorry Wicca but fuck off) Witchcraft is not a religion. The other gods exist and are chatty. But I only worship Allah. Thus this explanation I had sitting around still works.
One of the things I found most frustrating starting out in the occult section of the used bookstore was that they said “set this up” but no one ever fucking just explained why. What each component was. What you could do with it and how to combine them. I also didn’t have $300 to drop on supplies. And don’t really now but had extra help with other expenses because I was so impractical. If you can shop around and hunt what you want preloved items are definitely good but if you’re new? Dangerous if you don’t have an eye for healthy energy. As for what the pieces mean, Iris was with me so I can tell you the point down to…
An altar cloth
This creates an environment for magic to rest in. Like a cup with water. You need a place to focus and pull together all that energy so yes indeedy the cloth is important. Choose a color/pattern/fabric you find satisfying and pulls your particular energy together. Mine is blue either velvet or satin whichever is easiest to get my hands on as I’ve had to rebuild several times.
Candles
Led will do in a pinch
Candle holders are optional
Candle holders add a nice aesthetic that can help concentrate energy by pleasing the eye. You can be creative with these and while candles with flames are preferable it’s also an option to have LED ones if that’s not feasible.
The purpose of fire or fire visuals is probably easy to guess – or at least instinctual. It’s cleansing and a potent way to focus our energy. But some rental agreements say no and cost is a factor for most. Barring the life affirming flame an LED candle will set the mood and help you direct your will but isn’t quite as spiritually potent to the other side of the veil.
“Offerings”
These are:
Metal chalice for wine
Crystal glass for water
Wooden bowl for oil
Small dish for salt (salt cellar)
Optional 2,4,6 more spice cellars
One: these liquids get gross, only use a little and change either daily or weekly at least. Two: these are the fundamental riches of life. These are what makes the sacred form life in your altar like blood running through it.
Why those materials? Frankly history and pure association. Crystal clear is how we describe healthy water, a metal chalice signifies strength and offered wealth, and the wood is the best vessel for oil as we may end up dipping our fingers in it. And the natural shaped quality of the wooden bowl is like the cradle of magic that is prevalent in olive oil. A sacred aspect to many traditions therefore has gathered spiritual weight.
It’s important to note somewhere, and here is as good as anywhere else, that magic that flows with or absorbs the meaning or implications of the past, or the use of others, has more potency As it draws upon the faith of everyone who uses it when you call in the universe. So use a metal chalice for wine, crystal glass for water, and a wooden bowl for oil. Okay?
The optional spice combination should also be placed in spice cellars and have personal meaning to you. The passionate, earthy quality of my personal spice combination sits out full time, as does the salt. If you can’t think of anything there are multiple forms of salt you can set out. Ground, crystallized, and Himalayan make a potent combination if you are seeking to purify elements to your life. They can also represent wealth. Peppercorns also work for those who want to work with passion. But don’t get greedy with however cellars you set out. 3,5,7 are the numbers to go for and one of them will always be salt.
You can, with some combinations cheat a little, two forms of pepper in one bowl and a two complimentary spice combination in another. As well as using two forms of salt in the cellar reserved for that spice. But again, working within the limitations of magic you can only do up to three per and you absolutely do need to mix three kinds of salt if you are mixing three in the other dishes. And no mixing three in one, unless it’s three in all of them or one and one in another to reach 5.
Why? Magical wholeness makes a difference when preparing or setting an alter. There are numbers we have to contend with. 3, 6, 9, or 5, 10, 15, or 7, 14, 21. Are the three sets of numbers that are used most frequently in magic and thus have the weight of thousands of individuals going back thousands of years. Don’t fight history in magic. Flow with it. My father could probably tell use why those numbers in particular appeal to us. But as they do. And they work. Stick to them. But when in doubt 1 salt cellar is always an option.
For me, starting out, spices I didn’t regularly use were an expense I wasn’t willing to justify. So Salt? Was Soy sauce. It did the trick. My other two matching cellars went empty waiting for the right spell. That’s an option too.
When it comes to choosing spices outside of the required salt it gets very personal. Intent matters, as does a signature. My magical signature is the spices I choose. Others may research their magical properties and change out the “offerings” as intent changes.
That’s the part that tends to confuse new pagans. These are indeed offerings to the other world – in my case anyone that’s listening. You can choose to create a magical signature or you can try to get more specific intention. But the central concept is the respect for the weight of spiritual history, and the spiritual world. They are what flows life and meaning into all that you do in front of your altar – or away if you’re a set it and forget it kind of individual.
Athame (ritual dagger)
No. No. No. Do not use it to draw blood. While blood can make a powerful contribution to a letter or burning, if you don’t menstruate fucking prick your finger with a pin if you’re going to blast the other realm with potent magic. It’s not like you need much.
So what is the point of an Athame beyond stirring cauldrons and poking at ashes? Times past it absolutely would be used to draw blood. But thanks to the weight of the world we don’t actually need to draw blood to symbolize blood, and that’s essentially what it does. Do not skip out on this important aspect of the altar. This should be something only you touch once you have acclimated it to you. It represents your blood. Just don’t actually get yours on it.
Small metal bell.
You will ring this. You have several options as to when. In cleansing rituals the bell banishes negative energy. In healing rituals it’s used in between stanzas as a call to set it out into the world. You may also find some call a spirit to you. Be friendly and see what it wants. It will likely want to help you in exchange for offering it thanks – gratitude is an energetic food they find quite tasty.
One compact/handheld mirror
Are you going to gaze into this? Absolutely but it’s the most powerful focus we have is to look into our own eyes and see what visions we gain – in our own head. (And about the present— knowledge of the future is the path to madness) If you see something in the mirror other than you it’s time to worry. But mirrors are all doorways to other realms and are part of a passageway system.
You only want to look into our own, ask your question, hopefully get an answer -inside your head- and close the damn thing up, put it face down. Close the damn pathway. Walk the fuck away. As such only come to a mirror with a fucking question and it better not be whose fairest of them all.
One or two items of specialization
So for me a thimble and geode.
This is again a spiritual signature. Personally if my cat would let me sew I would use the thimble as intended. But I also use it to measure spices in potions so have fun deciphering those!
The geode is a Druid thing to recognize my magical roots I sort of meandered away from. It’s grounding and beautiful and calls the spiritual world to observe without necessarily interfering. Yes we do want that. Magic witnessed by the invisible is likely to be more potent and those I call to witness my work are of the earth.
One statue/icon/standing cross
Focus, focus, focus. Where does your magic come from? Concentrate? Who do you call upon when stuck? Bran may be who I utter for in small needs but Abba (the Christian god) is who I really bug if my needs are extreme. Hence my Celtic cross. Are Christianity and witchcraft supposed to mix? Are you fucking kidding? If the church can take our Yule trees we can take their cross.
If you are not directly under a fire alarm: Sage and bowl to place it in And Incense and pleasing holder provided you’re not allergic to it.
Sage is good for cleansing spaces as it is famous for. A good start to any ritual. But impossible to use with a fire alarm three feet away so the bell will have to do to set the space if that’s not possible.
Incense – oh the lovely world of signature fragrances and the magical properties of each. If only I could partake. But alas I’m allergic to artificial fragrance and live with a close by fire alarm if I could afford the natural kind.
For casting/prayer you will also likely need
Foci
Ritual clothing/jewelry of some sort
Burning paper
Lighter
The foci is probably an obvious concept, the burning paper needs a lighter. Write your request into the universe, set it on a cast iron dish/cauldron and ignite! Not only is it satisfying and oddly feels like an accomplishment. As long as you have read it aloud it travels with the light and smoke. For some flash paper equivalents it’s mostly light. But what you really want is for it to travel hence the point of that.
Ritual clothing, like a scarf, will help you get more into the headspace of casting and prayer and will aide your focus and energetic output as a result.
Sure nice right? Expensive to set up but deeply pleasing when you do. What if you are hard up or have no room
One amber jar with oil, water, wine, salt mixed in.
One dish for. “Finds”
One cheap compact mirror.
This is the equivalent of doing magic with a number two pencil. You should only fill the jar once and seal it. Set it somewhere with a dish for little tiny things you find like pleasing stones or even broken jewelry. And use the mirror as described above. The bare minimum for enhancing magical will and prayer.
Some of the best tools are preloved or so brand new they don’t already have their own energy. If you’re just starting out use new or gifted items that have familial significance – like your great grandmothers incense holder or some such. If taking on an object with history, you need to either convert the energy to your own or be related to that history.
Once you’ve gained some power over your energetic signature you can take on tools that already have energy to them. Choose wisely and only pick up what resonates with you. If you are practiced or sensitive enough you can do this through Etsy as much as garage sales. But you first need to be able to recognize what you will find harmony with. I love items with history to them but I wouldn’t want an assholes energy combatting mine when I dedicate it.
The simplest way to acclimate a tool to you is to use it. Anoint your third eye with the oil, sip from the wine, taste the salt, sip from the water. Utter a prayer as the object comes to focus for the first time. Or if you have waited for everything to get settled into place focus on the whole alter. But anoint your third eye etc. And in that order. Why? Iris said so. Oh fine. With the oil on your forehead you enter a space between worlds and you taste in the order that makes sense to picking up flavor and quality. With each bit you enter deeper and deeper into the sacred. The mystery to Greek Orthodox. It’s a logical order of events that does not foul the senses.
Do not skimp on the details. Use good olive oil you would put on a salad, bottled spring water, wine you would actually drink (non alcoholic is an option), and good fucking salt.
The prayer to “lock” an entire altar to your use differs a little from person to person – and is necessary before embarking on any other witchcraft. But you can pop the altar together without using it but leaving it unlocked can cause wild energy to build that is good for chaos magic and nothing else. Which of course is what I did because I was willing to harness the fucking thing when ready to actually use it and the energy was pleasing.
To bless an item the best thing to do is use it with good intentions. But before then comes the locking of an alter in progress.
To begin with all you need is an alter cloth and one item that you are going to use. Then you unlock the energy and lock. New (or used) items in. Remember going the used route can be very satisfying. There’s joy to be had in vintage or antique collection. But unless you are practiced enough do not put them on your alter right away if you want to use it for anything.
One way is certainly for it to sit there together long enough but it’s not ideal. This is indeed what I did. But you shouldn’t
Instead focus your mind on your energy and let it pour into the alter in as much as it seems to hold. If you are practiced in energy work you will find out how much it can contain at any one time. If you are not it may be more difficult but not impossible. But please gods start with all new equipment if you are still trying to sense energy inside you.
Then utter the following prayer, swapping out my name for yours – either a real name or the name you will use in the magical world. And again thanking your gods, this time in the second row.
I seal this space as a work of [Your spiritual name]
Thank you to [Your gods]
May you find home among the tools And no one else but Allah.
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Yes I know it sound sexual, and with my suggestion that could prove interesting . But pretty frightening to the eyes!
Here’s the idea. Animations has/is getting to the point getting maths to move it is getting easier – albeit done by a computer. Get the dimensions or whatever wrong, and whoops, please retake Calculus.
Why on earth can’t we teach most of calculus by getting a computer to show what works and what doesn’t? Maybe more, I’d have to really think about how to visually represent more than geometry but now I’m interested. Which means I should actually read my Dads (as in he wrote them) Book.
The point I really have is that we don’t need a whole game to screw around with maths. How fun would it be to experiment? No plot, no quest, certainly no NPC just a runner.
I imagine a few good potential 3d modelers would emerge and they go further. But it shouldn’t fucking be made to be a requirement. I never even read most of my papers after turning them in so why can’t we just have snippets of motion that we may still never use but would be better for understanding it at all – maybe craft some future Cybersecurity engineers.
I imagine (Again) that it would be interesting to make the computer choke on crafting a shape but potentially hilarious as long as coded to handle a feedback of, “Huh? The symbol seems to be in the wrong order.”
How cool would that be?
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Jesus is quoted as saying “Money is the root of all evil”. But what does that actually mean? Evil requires aide to work and the very real need for food can drag good men into evil acts.
Money is a tool of communication. But boy does it communicate. I care, here land in this social net because we care. It’s empty without the emotion traveling through it but most conflicts are about physical or spiritual resources. Undesirable land is squabbled over less. But they have other problems. Like the need for aide dependent on the whims of politicians. Money again.
It also communicates selfishness, giving, the need to horde, and frankly some good and bad taste! The excess of money may be connected to a lack of spirituality and without someone to love the meaning of money is lost. Here’s an option. Love everyone regardless of how irritating they are. You can afford it.
You don’t learn the value of a dollar by having a $100 bill. You learn it by striving for $1.00. That’s two ramen instant noodles by the way. If you don’t understand how much you really have multiply by 0.5. It’s that many packages of ramen.
As a tool money can indeed be the root of evil. All of it? No there’s a force out there that laughs each time we hurt each other. This negative, overpowering, volcanic and sentient energy that isn’t too happy with where he is and wants to drag everyone closer as a result.
Money can be the tool to help others, to organize aide, education, trade. It pays bills. Look at my ramen example. Do you want to figure out how many of those to trade for my car? No we need money.
We need to avoid hoarding it. We need basic universal income and taxing the wealthy will do that. But it’s a side issue I’m hoping makes it way forward. Maybe after we all earn the right to sleep.
Here’s the thing though. Money is the root of civilization as we know it everywhere it’s printed and pressed. It facilitates the supply and demand that pulls us all closer. While Capitalism runs out of necessary goods, and invents needs to supply. And it’s getting ridiculous.
But once evil infects one enough with the resources to purchase evil acts and acts of wrong that can lead to evil. Remember evil is in murder and rape, not lies and abuse but the latter two will take their toll on you and your soul. It invites evil thoughts and evil acts.
Enough paid gaslighters over a prolonged period lead to hospital visits. But most haven’t really wanted to connect that making the suicidal more suicidal ends in death and manslaughter to a group too big to chase. And not the problem as much as the money involved and the moneybags who wants me “suicidal” (Dead.)
Evil wins that war, and those that facilitated it also may never recover. I’m just not really interested in living. I’ve been wanting to end it all early since June 2023 when I warned my psychiatrist, and he agreed to limit the medication involved. I really thought I wouldn’t make it past July 23rd. Considering I was tortured with paralyzing brain melting audio on July 3rd, I seemed to have fair instincts. I couldn’t hear the world around me for a month after that. I don’t know why my hearing came back. I should be deaf.
Yes. It’s true. After being paralyzed by exhaustion and sound I managed to summon emergency services with a one shot call. I collapsed. I thought I would Die. I was a gibberish mess and got supremely pissed when some bitch told chattering me to calm down.
Calm down? This is calm. Fuck you.
Then someone I swore came in on a day off entered. He was calming and sweet and I always mellowed the instant he was around. It must have been so satisfying to watch the mountain lion turn into a kitten in front of everyone.
But they shoved me in the corner and the audio my brain was trying to sort had become voices. Addled, exhausted, and ignored I went to the desk to leave. No more taxi vouchers for me. A deputy would do.
But twenty minutes was too long and I walked home at midnight Between July 3rd and 4th. I walked at a steady pace of 5 miles an hour over 9 hours and some odd minutes. I made it back to my cat
I owned the road that night. If Boudicca wasn’t enough I would have to walk like a goddess because I was tailed the whole way but someone who stayed out of sight because the strange whirring was probably a drone. I didn’t think to look up when I would stop, dead center of the moonlight road and look back with body language full of determination and control that says “bring it”.
I made it home just fine. But it began a war of sound I fled the state to escape and it followed. Advancing, growing, dragging in more and more with raids of gaslighters.
One of those was the one who said “No one can survive all that” And I decided he was right. As mentioned before. Is he evil? As full of regret and worry as he became? I really wouldn’t beside surprised he also convinced emergency services to come back now I was dying.
While some could certainly transfer their skills to social media, most didn’t know the numbers involved, the sheer length of time. Or that I’d been so ready for death I didn’t mention it anymore.
My cat was the reason I survived and she was in her carrier that night. I live in terror that the deep pocketed moneybags will indeed steal my cat. I think I’d OD on the spot. But besides a really impressive attempt at dying, she still didn’t believe what she was doing was manslaughter and racketeering.
I mean, “come on!” For fucks sake etc.
She is infected by evil and using it as a tool to drag as many into harassing me as possible. My staff I made when I was 16 carved into, a piece removed. My necessary but infected computer stolen. Even being slipped a “who knows what” pill.. Threats invasions and all I could do was change the locks.
You can bet favors for fivers are involved. It’s just one thing. She must have money. Look at all this vintage stuff! (Thanks because I’ve had it since it was new and apparently I’m vintage). I have instincts. I can find a sale, Anything new to me was likely not new to the world. So those things that weren’t a gift from my mother? I snagged on a deal.
Though I suspect some stuff is just valuable because it’s mine.
Cumulatively those small favors end up with a Dead Devlin. Please for gods sake when offered money to hurt someone? Worm your way out. But with addictions, lack of food, barely just being housed that’s easier to say than expect. So some want to kick me out without ever meeting me.
Money. The tool used to pressure others into potentially evil acts. Carving up my staff took malice to a stranger. Once that’s in, so is evil.
So yes, Money is a good tool for Evil. But we also need it. We have a war on our souls. Even if you have no god to place faith in, you may believe that electrical signal in you, can either live on or separate into nothing.
How do you think reincarnation works? That electrical form could easily become tied to a womb if they’re not headed to heaven or purgatory.
We need to make favors for fivers unappealing. Maybe a better spread of finances. Farms are paid not to grow because there’s a war on the economic force driving food prices, and thus the scales of accessibility up the chain. I
I’m sorry, illegal immigrants are sometimes the only ones willing to work the hours in severe circumstances for so little pay it would be criminal if they were part of the system. Paying them more and providing a porta-potty would be basic. But up those prices go, so down some of that cash needs to flow.
Don’t you dare shit on a person so desperate to stay in safety they must live in squalor with no money for things like cleaning supplies. Americans won’t do that job and their treatment is vile. Or at least was. Now it’s worse. Go pick fruit for twelve-Sixteen hours. Sleep and do it again. No? Then shut the fuck up and tip your barista.
Do you see the way money as a tool is a power that the sentient evil force enjoys twisting to his whims. But cover the poor and it turns out evil starts losing. Take your “thoughts and prayers” and shove them up your arse. Stop obstructing progress. And no one gets to heaven after being shitty. Toads for you! Have you noticed a certain economic strata? I have. Only privileged people can live in bubbles away from the poverty Americans are facing. You don’t get to heaven that way either.
Remember what Jesus said about eye of a needle? He may have exaggerated a little but that point is so old it’s between. BC and AD.
We’ve been trying to struggle out of nothing and once you’ve slept in a car you carry it with you like a smudge of dirt you can’t wipe off. You can fight and strive and get into the middle class but you’ll always be “that former homeless person”.
You tell me money is always good? Because frankly we need it. But we need better distribution or Asmodeus wins. The war is on, where do you want your soul to go?
Sylvanna Devlin 