Sylvanna Devlin

So far those harassing me insert into a conversation with another and get a reply too – or are so nasty I say something back.

Then they tell others they are “just talking to me”

Constantly, 24-7 whether I’m sleeping or not they’re spiteful words use wounds another created, but they can get away with arguing I’m too thin skimmed. They’re just rude I shouldn’t be so crumpled by “just one thing” (from all of them)

I snap back? And no one understands why. They will make look like the monster because they continue to attack but with “just words”

That trigger wounds. And PTSD

They argue gaslighting is “just a story. Just lying.” That it’s not dangerous and emotionally violent for them to use regular looking sentences with the intent to get away with manslaughter.

It’s slippery, nasty and spiteful. But sliding around reality is what they do.

I say “fuck you?” Or “fuck off?” Because yet another member of their cult-click “just been gossiping” past my window. I’m considered the difficulty by outsiders. Well only to women who want an excuse to continue.

But the police can’t stop someone from gossiping, being rude, just talking, just offering suggestions. Never mind it’s en masse by their cult-click unasked for and unwanted. Never mind their intent is to wound and everyone knows they’re the asshole. But they get away with it. No consequences for them.

Bitches like them just continue without being stopped.

Their lies and trigger points hurt more than anything.

And they do this to their boyfriends – and feel entitled to. But men are the ones who have to shoulder the weight upon them.

The weight of toxic femininity. Sly, manipulative, spiteful- but so underhanded they say they can get away with them through a flitter their eyes.

They use attraction like a weapon. Either to slip away or to get a few drink for the exchange of a fake number.

It’s not that nasty men don’t exist. Pick up artists are the gross underbelly of the social scene. Their tactics are shared, written about, and written off.

Like certain women they also try withholding affection. It seems to be the carrot on a stick routine is an American issue that spans genders.

And their tactics of “negging” and bringing the beautiful down a notch? Women do it so frequently pick up artists get away with it.

You want to stop P.U.As? Stop shredding other women because we come to expect bad behavior. We don’t notice their bullshit because it’s the fucking same manipulative crap women use.

Some men sometimes want a one nighter and some women just want a few free drinks.

Some women are part of the problem. PUAs feel entitled because manipulative women are trying to “work it” too.

Don’t get me wrong. They’re still assholes. But you want better, be better,

You can’t stop these men by tearing into other women. Form genuine sisterhood and protect each other. Not a click or a cult-click. But behavior that builds not tears.

We are not getting anywhere till we stop underhanded women from giving underhanded men an excuse.

I am not getting anywhere till toxic women stop the abuse. They want me to move? They need to be patient because I’d like to.

Meanwhile I can’t afford a single cross word. Because they know their words are as swords to me – but not why. And sound basic to an outsider.

Eyelid flitter, “All I said was, I’m exhausted of you.”

“Come back to reality”

“I’m just rude.”

“Her reaction is the problem. She blames me, and I swear whatever she’s upset about isn’t in this reality. I am exhausted of her!”

Okay. Fine. Everyone knows there are stories about those phrases and trigger points. They repeat them to be nasty.

But since they genuinely don’t know why?

Flitter, flitter, “I don’t know why she reacts that way.”

I’m sleeping and some bitch says “If I snap my fingers, you’ll wake in reality.”

Because that’s what you say to a sleeping person.

I’ve snapped and sworn because they are deliberately trying to hurt me. But from them it’s mental bludgeoning. The weapon seems like a harmless verbal baseball bat.

People turn against me in advance. I seem disruptive and difficult. No one believes I want to be kind and thoughtful. And now they won’t let me seem it.

Prod the dragon and she either breaths fire or ends in the hospital. You don’t stop and I seem scary.

Reactive abuse is sneaky that way.

I’ve had no patience for a single attempt from a newcomer. They really are just that toxic – and then become nasty when they don’t understand a reaction. But they know it hurts so they start repeating it.

I really will be driven to suicide and these women are so toxic it’s possible it’s no longer a dangerous incident I’d like to leave in the past. Not a particular individual I’d rather not mention but: giggle gaggle, they’ll pretend to be one just like him.

“She believes it! That’s so funny!”

It’s invasive and hacking. It’s constant harassment. And the men around, also harassed and harangued by their girlfriends, also just see an extreme reaction.

They say “Hey watch this.”

They say “None of that really happened”.

(Not that they know at all what it was, just that it will hurt me to say it.)

“Look she blows up over nothing”

I can’t survive this. And to them they are just fooling around because they just are:

That toxic.

They’re not part of what happened. They’re “new here” and what they are doing doesn’t have an agenda.

They are just that toxic.

They don’t question why equipment exists for their words to reach me. And mine to be heard by them. They snipe on the way past. And appear to invade my privacy on my phone.

But if I’m using it to write at all?

“Write this, write that. Please come back to reality.” Some clearly have access to what I write. But others are just chiming in to hurt me without any context.

They don’t question who put the equipment there. That allows them to access me.

Giggle gaggle, “She reacts over nothing.”

They are just that toxic.

“Come back to reality.”

Your lies and gaslighting is just part of what you’re like. You don’t know what happened and it’s not a question if you believe or not – how could you? You just know denying will get a reaction beyond belief.

I am not given room to quietly heal.

The instant I speak, maybe whisper. I’m told to be quiet. I have no patience and am not exactly in the mood to be nice for being on the receiving end of bullying. And if I reply “just shut up”

“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”

I can’t survive this and it’s possible they don’t even understand why.

They’re just that toxic.