Sylvanna Devlin

While our problems tend to be financial like everyone else, periods, and toxic individuals. There are some great things about being a woman.

It’s so comforting to hear anyone help me remember the correct meaning of a phrase when I’ve clearly forgotten. But it’s particularly well received from a feminine voice. For me and others. For me I’m relieved to receive kindness from other women. But that kindness is associated with being a woman.

Men are kind to me and other women might be annoyed. And other men might question it too. But kindness from women is better received by all genders. A kind woman is not questioned on the motivations for being so!

Women tend to be associated with comfort. I imagine it will be easier to get part time ASL translation work if eyes on me are more comfortable. You have to be willing to be stared at for the duration of a lecture or meeting – so comfortable with being looked at. And that makes some men uneasy and some very insecure of their looks.

We get all the fun toys. Wax kits, hair rollers, a very diverse range of toys for sexual health (you can even get a clitoris sucker) makeup if it’s your thing – and a huge variety there. Facial soaps, scrubs, masks, and moisturizers. Body moisturizers. Hands. Feet. Oils and creams. For some of us fake nails. It’s fun but not relaxing to preen but it makes for quite the coping mechanism.

I find such things to be a healthy distraction and comforting to do. Moisturizing takes very little effort but is so darn soothing!

I imagine if I relaxed with a glass of Nonalcoholic wine and a book I could add a blanket and maybe do it in bed.

But men wouldn’t be as comfortable and expect side-eye from others. You know the look. They’re not really changing their focus but the disdain can be felt through a glance in the direction of peripheral vision.

Indeed, no offense to men, but the best thing about being a woman is that we can skip out on the pressure men place on each other.

Cat ladies are cute. Male cat lovers are questioned. Like gender affects the love of a fuzz bucket.

There’s no expectation of instant perfect driving. It’s a better experience to learn, even if we’ve never been on that side of the car. It’s good to have skill but it’s easier to learn escape driving when you’re not judged. Parking help is less embarrassing too. I could park on a dime. Because I wasn’t embarrassed to be taught! (And yes it was by men)

Men love sharing their hobbies and cars and car events are a pretty good bonding experience. They find us cute if we’re interested too. There’s a lot about very fast large machinery to love. So interest has to be genuine. But as long as you’re the listener women are expected to be? That’s hours of hearing about hobbies.

Some are frustrated by such expectations. But is it the worst thing in the world to be assumed to be caring? A default perception of the likelihood of kindness?

I did annoy someone when I asked my boyfriend to come back “because I’m a girl and I’m scared”. It meant my ego wasn’t buried in such appearances and I could admit to fear. Women are given room to be more emotionally expressive and tend to be more likely to be considered trustworthy.

Male nurses are still weird to some and other support roles While it seems annoying they’re consider women’s jobs – the frustration is felt by all of us.

It can be difficult to be a woman in a male dominated environment. But that’s changing. High level bosses and doctors tend to have had to tough it out and some women get a little pissy about being an authority and don’t take criticism or rebuke well. But us women get to bitch about it to each other with freedom. And those women who lead without developing a hard edge are adored!

We’re considered softer. And some find that too much of a restriction I say we celebrate it. Cry when we need to and laugh with infectious joy.

Speaking from experience, weight loss is difficult, but even super tubby you can feel super sexy without it and that is plain harder for men. We might complain about another gym visit but it’s not just other men who comment on an oversized beer gut.

Though I swear those who get chonky love the sensual side of life and that translates to a lot of fun in the bedroom!

Some of us get very lucky with distribution anyway.

Women can be competitive and cruel. Some more likely to tear down another woman than a man is. But the ladies can gather and bitch about bitches with impunity.

It’s a double edged sword. Dishonest women can be spread their bullshit through gossip and said cruelty. But a good old communal bitching isn’t the same as spreading secrets and lies!

Besides the rest of us are just as fed up with prima donnas.

It’s been upsetting to have my womanhood questioned and even some nasty comments on my period underwear in the dryer.

“She doesn’t need that”

Yes I fucking do.

But most women don’t involve themselves in the nasty games that give women a bad reputation.

We like being perceived as softer and kind. I’m a ferocious dragon if under attack but would rather not be.

And while I can physically and emotionally defend myself it’s so comforting to take a backseat when a man is feeling protective.

Why should I whinge? I’m a woman. I’m not expected to handle danger head on. I do. But I’d rather not.

The perception of women as gentle and sweet is why I like being a woman. It’s easier to return to my inner nature and be a nurturer. Men find such softness questionable in each other.

Indeed it’s possible I’ve been prodded into snapping and snarling so all men see is the ferocious beast that they wake. But frankly I’m exhausted of it all. But I’m more likely to be defended and given emotional room than men could expect.

Sure I’m saying the good thing about women is the expectations of us are not usually as toxic as men have for each other. So being a man would be undesirable.

But what do they have besides being able to avoid bleeding once a month? Being a woman gives me freedom I see my male friends restricted from.

A woman in a man’s world is more likely to be welcomed than a man in a woman’s environment. You get fewer rape threats around men. Most get mighty protective. But you’re in a house of women and one threat is given to all of us.

Most men are just as upset at rapists as women and are fed up as being perceived a potential danger just for their gender. Women complain #notallmen is used for derailing #yesallwomen and it can be. But some get a bit sensitive about being a potential enemy before they open their mouths. There’s no good hashtag for that!

Sometimes women need the mic. Sometimes they have to fight for it. So derailing from issues is a frustrating thing to experience. But what should men say if they’re just as appalled?

Well in a woman’s space nothing. But in the outer world we need men to speak up too. And a lot of women don’t differentiate. We need safe spaces to talk. But we can’t make the whole world like that.

Ultimately the best thing about being a women is what others complain about. It’s the likelihood I’ll be assumed to be gentle and caring – and won’t be mocked for such. I’m given room to be myself- or the me I want to be. Because I’m a woman.

There are bad things for sure. But at least I’m not a man!

Men, I love you. But I sure don’t want to be on your side of life!