Sylvanna Devlin

I was asked what I’d like to happen.

Other than:

Everything and everyone settle down – myself included.

I’d like to:

Recover my physical health.

Have everyone leave me and Tabitha alone.

Do laundry at night, garbage out too. Check my mail. Get necessities delivered. Go to the doctors and the dentist without concern of loss or destruction.

Go to university for a second bachelors. This time in Mathematics and move on to designing AI Architecture to solve my concerns on Data Exhaustion and Reality Abuse. As well as facilitate communication between pre-collegiate students and experts.

I’d also like to.

To sell my fiction and non-fiction

To self publish those spiritual books I promised.

That’s what I would like.

In general:

I’m having to put bellydance and ASL in the hobby departments but the former is excellent exercise and I need that. But maybe I don’t need professional level dancing condition.

And learning ASL will help me develop what I’d really ultimately like to do.

Design AI Architecture with my skills.

If I can do it. Maybe I can develop an AI to at least facilitate it.

I would be able to do this more easily without cognitive impairment from an abusive environment.

But

I wrote a book countering abuse.

I rebuke arseholes on my blog.

And as a result they turned terrorists and feel justified doing so. Using a weapon of mass abuse to try to control and curtail any resistance.

Now my book, Game Over, about reactive abuse – which will now be recognized as a certain kind of trolling (wish I had thought of it) is the thorn in the side of abuse.

And I will not back down.

I do need to learn to cope with abuse for the sake of abuse. And abuse because they’re that abusive. But I’m not entirely sure I can.

Today I went from. “I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be alive”

To “Actually I change my mind. I’d rather be dead.”

To “Maybe I should give up”

Because it seemed like it was over for me. The troll-bot was focused elsewhere. But I still live with intellectually inhibited arseholes.

And they personally would not stop.

But as long as the troll-bot weapon continues not to focus on me maybe I can go back to stage one at least.

On a personal update. Less Diet Coke has left me too sleepy to cope and very bloated. Hopefully I can get through my caffeine dependence!