Sylvanna Devlin

Not everyone suffering from cognitive dysfunction is cruel.

Some are tired, thirsty, hungry, cold, hot, unsheltered, scared, or stressed out

It’s hard to think straight when homeless or a step up.

No one wants to admit they’re not thinking clearly when navigating poverty. But I have experienced dented and returned cognition.

It’s not a permanent state for a lot. My PTSD still has me hanging on a financial thread and my neighborhood is questionable. But my cognition is returning.

Sure it’s not a flattering description. But it’s not really safe at night and just last week we got a note requesting the thievery stop as my problem with items being stolen from me is shared.

Someone is waiting for me to leave to hit what she called “the jackpot” Stealing sentimental but old items I’ve clung to for years.

It makes it more intimidating to go to the doctors and dentist. As I don’t really go anywhere else.

But the crime here is desperation for some, not as much for fun. Though I may be considered a target out of cruelty.

It would explain why even the scent of rotting wood in the halls is blamed on my commode. Like you can smell a significant fart down the hall as my commode is sealed but vegans are gassy.

I’m a scapegoat and punching bag for many here. Those who aren’t trying to get me kicked out for no better reason than stigma. It’s awful and while these days I don’t necessarily wake up wishing I hadn’t, one prod sends me spiraling now. So some do just that – for their entertainment.

Cruelty requires malice and does tend to contain cognitive dysfunction but goes beyond just not thinking clearly or enough.

Malice is bitterness, cognitive dysfunction and sport.

While intelligent individuals can be malicious bastards, they have cognitive errors when it comes to making compassionate decisions.

But here on the ground I’m dealing with nastiness that is wrapped up in bitterness, the need to cut into another poppy- taller or not, and toying with tempers. People who find abuse entertaining.

So I suppose while all abuse is about power and control it does not all come from malice. But that miserable attitude does always lead to abuse.

Trolls have malice. As do those firing a trollbot in my direction “to see what happens”. Apparently we haven’t actually escaped the days of experimenting on people.

That’s pretty sodding malicious.

I reach a point of feeling I can’t survive the bullying here. I lived through everything in Sonoma county, homelessness, escaping traffickers and enduring gaslighting. It was all drawing to a close of feeling suicidal.

But a malicious wench in the building with 24/7 access to make negative commentary out of her desire for fun?

It’s too much.

Recognizing cruelty and living with cruel individuals does take understanding that otherwise intelligent or no, they are experiencing cognitive dysfunction in the social sphere.

What can we do?

Address, curb, ignore, bore

The cruel require their basic needs met then some therapy to handle the rest.

What do we have control over personally? That’s a good question. For another time.