Sylvanna Devlin

When you hit depression it’s like sinking into a muddy pit you can’t see out of.

Everything slows down. Your body becomes heavier. Your appetite changes depending on if your body itself can be bothered. As our moods are felt everywhere.

Depression is biochemical but can be environmentally triggered. And there’s a tendency to complain that if the latter is at fault nothing can be done. I’ve made it myself.

I’m being bullied and harassed. What good can a med change do to resolve that?

Turns out that’s not the question to ask.

What can a med change do to help me cope with that.

Handling anxiety was one thing. But it took a chemical boost to my neurological-biochemical soup before I could see surviving it.

Which is not what my abusers want. But I’d rather get this message out.

No matter your stage; catatonic, functional, “what happened to my life?” Or hidden, you can benefit from medical assistance.

But it can be slow. So darn slow if you’re at the bottom rung. Then once you’re getting things done and emerging from the cave one of three things happens.

You don’t recognize yourself when happy. You don’t feel like you. And sink back.

You look at everything you have to do to get your life back together and sometimes it’s too much to cope with – the danger zone.

Or things are fine. Theoretically.

I’m bipolar but fear mania so much depression is preferable so I’ve climbed out of the pit a lot.

I’ve never emerged to a peachy world view.

But just not being depressed is enough of an achievement.

Motivation when at the bottom is challenging. Particularly to tidy your environment or keep your teeth clean.

Take your toothbrush and put it beside your bed. Brush your teeth from bed at the same time each day. If you can add floss or mouthwash great.

You can safely swallow small amounts of toothpaste but yuck. So I have a spit jar. Which is gross but less disgusting than rotting teeth!

Then there’s the environment.

One thing.

Just one small thing.

Like- open the mail.

That’s today’s task and you can sink in bed the rest of the day.

Tomorrow you’re going to throw away the envelopes.

Because things pile up during depression but in 30 days, 30 things will be quite a lot to pull yourself up.

And it’s annoying that environment and self care help when they’re the last thing we care about. But cleaning your teeth and tidying up are low hanging fruit and should be reached for.

Now I try to do 5 things a day.

And I moisturize (still from bed) because I enjoy that. And I made that and brushing my teeth and hair my morning and evening routine.

My mum has a trick that works for her. But I haven’t tried it.

Just do whatever task you need to for five minutes. Set an egg timer. You might even find out that’s all that’s necessary for unloading the dishwasher. Or you might find that after five minutes you can keep going.

But don’t stress if you don’t!

I am also a big fan of lists. Crossing things off a refreshable LED screen is so satisfying I have multiple so I can organize my lists!

Urgent or severely important, important, self care, and what I’m doing today. (I have two others but they don’t usually track life tasks)

I highly recommend an LED screen to-do list!

But most of all. Be mindful of your mood and seek psychiatric help if you start to show signs of depression. A broken feeling in the mind is more severe than a broken leg. It doesn’t make you lesser to get medication. It makes you brave.

Be brave. Even if you don’t feel you can be.

Take meds. Fix your biochemistry. Cope with your environment. Worry about changing it after.