I’m hoping taking care of the outside will improve my mood on the inside. It’s a step up from “fuck it all”. But I’m learning ASL and thus looking at my hands a lot. I wanted them to be prettier. At least Tabitha knows when I’m sulking. Because there’s confusion both pictures taken today. No…

But accurate

Do I look like someone to vanish?

But pink but my Christmas tree has very bright red.

Some days I really want to know what’s going on around me. Sometimes I don’t

Even when I don’t want to be. I’ve had such the narrative pumped into my feverish mind that I don’t know if the truth will ever be clear.

I love you.

No wonder I want to die. Everyone seems to know things about a Melissa Devlin and won’t tell me what. Because she stole my pictures.

I got in some snacks, some dealcoholized wine, ready to celebrate the season – along with some wine glasses still in their container. I really shouldn’t have bought them. I won’t be able to afford them next Christmas. But since I did, and they’re special they’re going under the tree. Self gifting? Are you that…

What is it? It’s creating or altering real sound, video, and social media. False pictures. 3D images. And lots and lots of synthesized sound. It can also involve hacking – and for me reading off what I’m writing! It’s too much to live with. I understand. But it’s here and it’s real – reality abuse.…