There were years in between. Look at the features and if measured would be the same. But separate mood? I look shallowand fake. But it’s just me with minimal makeup.
The other? Different but still with make up. And I swear you can see me thinking.
Sometime in 2018 I lost the life in me. By 2021 it was returning but,,,
Not amused
There are plenty of selfies to see as I progress: And the light is nearly there in all. People again tried to destroy me and with no sleep and the torment that goes beyond bullying? And I seem like I couldn’t possibly be the sweetheart people remember.
I don’t want to be the biggest dragon in the building but can be. Till I sense a bigger one, and can relax.
(Sorry for repitition jet pack is being hacked as I type this)
Mob mentality and “hehe haha” wind up the bipolar intellectual and isn’t it funny?”
Um no. Bullying like yours lead to a severe suicide attempt.
Let’s not make this common okay?
So what have you done?
So much I swore you were trying to “vanish me”?
“HeHe haha let’s make this person in a protected class worse and think she needs a med change
“Again
“Let’s make the bipolar person believe anything we want.
“Let’s make a mental illness worse
“Let’s see what it takes to drive her to the hospital again.
“Because hehe haha”
Fuck you.
Because, “oh no! I don’t want to live next to a crazy person. We made you ill and then complained about it.
“Why does your PTSD, Bipolar, dyslexia, and ADHD lead you to a soft spot with those who know you are still trying your best?
“I want to be in a protected class too!
“Hehe haha ‘I’m Sylvanna.’
“Hehe haha ‘I’m Melissa Devlin’
“The police won’t know the difference right?”
May you never lead a life with as much suffering as mental illness can bring.
“But HeHe HaHa you once had a job that made money. You father is an actual case of poverty to wealth – he did it, he doesn’t understand why you can’t.”
So which of these were real and which were “hehe haha gaslighting is bullying”
Vanishing a person?
Sending a cult after their writing
Attempted to sell into sex trafficking
Attempts to hook onto drugs
Attempts at brain washing
Forced virtual neighborhoods
Souring surroundings
Favors for fivers
Random comments from strangers
Dragging every potential enemy in an exhaustive stream of individuals.
Creating and using a gaslighting robot
Using private AI and stolen work just to wound
Reality abuse – “until she reaches oblivion”
Gaslighting – sometimes “to death”
Hacking oh golly, gee whiz the hacking.
Vanishing others with more to lose.
Basic regular abusive crap.
Chased everywhere by “Stalkers”.
Sound abuse
Sound used to torture- directly in a loud burst and through prolonged frequencies.
Commenting on private notes.
Threats of attempting to create a whore of the traditional kind
Threats of attempts on my life
Actual near attempts on my life?
Hurting/Stealing my cat
Thieving
Surveillance?
Standard harassment and bullying
Oop sorry – almost forgot? “We made you paranoid”
Oh yes sweetie. You did.
“mean we did these things and made you believe anything we wanted.
Mob mentality and “hehe haha” wind up the bipolar intellectual and isn’t it funny?”
It took six lines and tubes in my body to rescue me.
No one new how to bill for a surgery so new I really might have been a first in Oregon,
“Let’s see what it takes to drive her to the hospital again.
“Because hehe haha”
Fuck you.
Oh sorry, I forgot
Because, “oh no! I don’t want to live next to a crazy person. We made you ill and then complained about it.
Why does your PTSD, Bipolar, dyslexia? And ADHD lead you to a soft spot with those who know you are still trying your best?
I want to be in a protected class too!
Hehe haha “I’m Sylvanna.”
Hehe haha “I’m Melissa Devlin”
The police won’t know the difference right?
May you never lead a life with as much suffering as mental illness can bring.
“I mean we did these things and made you believe the weirdest theories into why. You should be in a hospital or dead.
“Hehe haha right?”
Let’s not make me into Geiger art again shall we.
Because you know it’s fatal. But a mob means you can hide behind each other. So which one of you with a cumulative affect of your abuse actually killed me?
With 92 hours awake and 2 hours of sleep at some point madness easily flows. Add to it intense narrative based reality abuse! One disconnects from everything.
Slipping, sliding, flowing stories swimming around each other. Real sounds only some can hear. Characters, plots and plans. It all begins to blur and a dream world makes more sense than the physical.
Until you are left in oblivion.
You cease to exist. Reality becomes a red river of lies above and the blue truth below flowing in an opposite direction. And you are between, floating on both as up and down really has no meaning anymore.
You’ve been reduced to perception alone and any moment now you will cease to exist entirely.
A life raft of words is sent and you’ll call upon your nemesis if you have to, anything to reconnect. Even surrendering to the lure of an abusive, controlling individual with an unusual affect on women.
Unless they were around all the time for years. Then they fear succumbing to crocodile tears and nuerolinguistic programming.
Maybe he improved. I don’t know.
Then you get some fucking sleep and overhear complaints, “you said she would be in the hospital for weeks after all that”
You write about it and someone says, “you think Nepenthe is you? Come back to reality.”
Oh if it were only so simple. And Reactive Abuse less popular in women. Perhaps my book will change that. Perhaps losing a weak form of power is truly the issue at hand.
And I was sent to Oblivion to be destroyed.
Game Over
The name of my book and my current mood.
I am Nepenthe as described as the version in the song – one I’ve never heard. But they knew the story too well for us not to be the same woman.
And reactive Abuse has made me look ugly and angry when I would prefer to be kind and gentle.
“Do you look good enough on the outside to feel good on the inside, yet?”
Please God, get me away from abusive women I’ve never met, pouring nastiness and frustration with security I just don’t understand.
Maybe trying to Vanish me was a bad idea.
Published under Melissa J Devlin
Game Over.
The game changer.
And just possibly the reason Games are being played with my head.
Oh by the way? The hair and glasses thing is real – no makeup required.
Bit blurry but not the point Since angle complaints were next.
Golly I look tired!
A snapshot of “oh who cares about the perfect one right now. Maybe I’ll do myself up for New Year’s Eve!
I’m hoping taking care of the outside will improve my mood on the inside. It’s a step up from “fuck it all”. But I’m learning ASL and thus looking at my hands a lot. I wanted them to be prettier.
Not bad for a beginner Tabitha’s opinion on the bag at least
At least Tabitha knows when I’m sulking.
One of the best photos I have ever taken!
Because there’s confusion both pictures taken today. No opportunity for someone to switch cats. But one is a snapshot. The other is really good – from a different angle. Like my photos of me, angles and lighting matter!
Sylvanna Devlin 