Sylvanna Devlin

As a note:

I have agreed to the terrorists terms 5 times and they didn’t stop. So I won’t be doing so again.

And:

Someone stole my identity and it sounds like she’s ruined my name because that kind of person is an arsehole.

Because she’s awful, you complain to me about things I haven’t said or done, or even know about.

Please take better care of the truth.

Whomever you’re reacting to isn’t me.

To continue:

I have also been lied about and shat on and had arseholes double down on abuse because they don’t want the truth to be that I’m a good person.

I am a good person.

You’ve tried reactive abuse to change perception.

I’m still a good person.

You complain you can’t all be wrong.

You can be. Because you believe lies and rumors. You are following a foul leader into the language of hell.

I escaped your reactive abuse and complained even if no one believed I was still good they wouldn’t give room for to become so again.

Reactive abuse doesn’t change the fundamental elements to who I am.

And I am a good person.

I am still me even if you break elements to who I am.

Anger does damage the soul.

So I am doing a purification at the end of the month.

You have mocked.

Some complained of my conversion this morning and I was asleep all morning.

But

In the middle of the night I answered someone who had spiritual questions.

I stand by my answers.

And calm responses.

But I haven’t even been in the same room as someone else since December. Except from Project Response in February.

Twice.

With professionals whose work is partially to sweep up after your mess. You’re making others miserable and pointing the finger to avoid admitting your own responsibility.

That’s not my doing.

That’s yours.

You are behaving badly.

Not me.

I know some of the lies you’re spreading.

I’m tired of fighting your lies, your rumors, your gaslighting, your abuse, and your excuses.

If it’s all a misunderstanding and you mean to direct your abuse to the one who stole my identity?

Please be more careful.

Because I’m wake up wanting to die and go to sleep that way too.

And I don’t deserve it.

You don’t seem to even be talking about the same person.

You might not be.

To repeat.

Please be more careful.

No one besides my neighbor has asked me to take my website offline, pull posts, or remove my entire blog.

She seems to have been told such.

But it’s just a divide and conquer technique.

I personally have not been told to do so by anyone in control of the lethal troll-bot.

Not this year anyway

Back last spring I was asked to pull by book. And I did. And it stopped nothing. So it was published again.

Damaged.

So I had to republish with an older version.

They promised to stop if I didn’t warn others.

I held back

They didn’t stop.

They asked me to pull posts before.

And I did.

They didn’t stop.

They finally played Simon says while I was awake.

But complying stopped nothing.

These are just hoops to jump through to develop and maintain control and depression.

I will not be making any agreements ever again.

Because we’re not the ones they really are trying to negotiate with.

But they haven’t stuck to their word with me.

So why would they?

(I’m writing a whole section on this. But here is the start.)

The interesting aspect to all informative writing is “hasn’t anyone else written this?”

Other than textbooks I presume?

Yes.

And I am writing one too.

Sound is a bunch of pressure waves moving air or liquid by vibrating molecules in its path.

(Interesting tidbit, physics treats air as a liquid because airflow is similar)

Audiophiles like myself refer to all frequencies and decibels of such pressure waves as sound.

You don’t have to hear it as far as we’re concerned!

But most normal people don’t refer to it at all. Or give much thought to vibrating air!

But if you think of traveling in a vehicle that shakes as vibrating you know what that is.

What you may not notice is that rattling sensation is also rattling the air!.

Causing sound vibrations.

What are “frequencies and decibels?”

Frequency is how many vibrations per second are being transmitted. Either from the mouth or machinery some vibrations travel quickly and cause a “high” hum. Which is why we call it frequency.

While we tend to view frequency the way a radio chart would have it, with bas at the bottom. It’s more accurate to view it as overlapping cosine waves.

What’s that? Isn’t that a maths term?

Yes it is. They’re the graphs that undulate endlessly.

(Sine waves remain consistent, as that often gets confused – so mathematically we often have a useful start and finish)

Audio starts at the source and eventually peters out

It’s so long a cosine wave is how it’s referred to. Like ocean waves.

Some frequencies we can hear, some only our dogs or cats (or birds) do. They are all vibrating air whether it’s detected by an ear drum or not.

Think of the last time you tried yelling at someone with earplugs in. That sound was certainly real! (And you might have given them a headache)

Now. Frequency is how close together those waves are, how fast the air is moving.

But decibels!

That’s the up and down size of those waves. The height.

But that height changes our perception and how much can be transferred to us tends to eventually fade.

So if you want to be loud you need a lot of decibels to keep a higher frequency going because it’s the decibels that eventually cause the whole thing to become smaller and smaller.

That’s why higher frequency sounds have a shorter “lifespan”

So if they’re very loud to start with (high decibels) they are an entirely different frequency by the time they are heard distantly.

Because as those waves sink down the speed collapses too.

Think of a wave machine.

At the start those fast and furious waves are mathematically described and visualized as that up and down wave. Cosine 

But at the other end they’re slower and smaller.

Like that cosine has a ratio to keep!

What’s interesting is lower frequency sounds are omnidirectional and travel through solid objects.

So if you want to rattle the windows you can do so from your living room with just slightly loud decibels.

But if you want to do it from far away you have to start loud and fast!

So it still shakes the hinges by the time it gets there.

That pitchfork in the brain feeling is real and induced by pressure waves

That full skull pain that feels like a vice is really induced by pressure waves.

The sudden desire to kill yourself is the “suicidal frequency” of pressure waves.

The sudden nerve pain and sensitivity is the “fibromyalgia frequency” of pressure waves.

Silent pressure waves can be so powerful that they collapse the ear canals

The pressure waves are real and really dangerous.

I don’t know who you’ve been listening to or what she said.

I do know some of, but not all of the nasty rumors about me – lies.

But you’re spewing crap at me for things you heard or heard about that I didn’t say or do.

This will lead in my death.

Which is what they want.

If I go to the hospital it follows me.

So don’t pretend it’s concern for me you try to send me there.

Because I start, just start to get better and they’re back.

And your solution is to tell me to kill myself.

I go, dominos fall

Before you know it everyone in this city is a primary target.

Not long after there is no more city.

You can all reach me with audio no matter what is done. Do you really think this is what reality should be like?

Be stubborn. Be survivors. Don’t let them win.

Stop posting it

You don’t have a good enough reason to make me suicidal again.

And that’s the consequences

One day it might be straight to death for me.

You used, scrunched up tissue, not fit to wipe a baboons arse.

Aka.

Why didn’t I put two and two together?

The gaslighting was that impressive.

My digital signature was stolen and used to train a troll-bot and phishing AI.

So I gave US intelligence services permission to use my past present and future work to stop criminal activity. I own the copyright but they can use it.

So that pissed off some professional criminals.

And they specifically targeted me. With so, so much bull.

And anyone next to me either is innocent and would rather avoid me. And not be near me as I’m targeted.

Or on criminal payroll.

Of course they’re going to try to kill me. I’m trying to stop them from killing others.

All of it boils down to a bunch of organizations from the underworld targeting me and my neighbors either becoming on the take or just fed up.

Maybe at least the gaslighting will stop.

(While I appreciate you think the picture on par with a digital image. I used clever lighting not clever software)

And these are splints, not jewelry

I don’t think everything in the world is about me.

I am tired of the AI reporting a facial expression and everyone misinterpreting my facial reactions.

Like you will ever understand my motivations

Because you don’t want to.

I look sad when other people are hurting.

I smile when couples are cute

I’m delighted when I hear others fall in love.

And their joy is my joy.

It does not make me an emotional vampire.

I do not think I’m the center of the universe.

I’m an empath.

And ready to end it all before even waking up properly, because people used to like that I care about everyone and everything and can feel for them so strongly.

And now you shit on me for it.

You heartless bastards.

Your response? You don’t believe empathy is real.

You ignorant, heartless bastards.

I really should give up on life.

Since my feelings “aren’t real”

You’re tired of every insult ending up online?

Here’s a revolutionary idea.

Stop making them.

I’ve never done anything wrong.

I’ve never said something racist – though goodness have others around me. And sometimes by someone I finally rebuke. But you’re all so awful to each other it makes me want to cry.

Any hurt has been mutual and things like breaking up.

I’ve never hurt someone on purpose- just to see.

I’ve never hurt somebody on purpose at all.

It’s true. I’m isolated. Because in person you can tell I genuinely care. But spread my ideas online and you’re so jaded and cynical you think I’m the weird one.

I’m so fed up and exhausted of you.

I have to create a big dragon around me to survive how harsh and hurtful you are.

I soften up and “No one is like that”

Apparently I’m not real.

And again, you’re fed up of your foul attitude ending up on my blog and you use any argument you can.

I’m not being a “professional” victim. And you view that as bad.

Come on!

I’m asked for words and offer them.

But I decide what I won’t write.

Not you.

Attack me, physically, emotionally, mentally and I develop a ferocious aura.

The dragon in me emerges from my forehead energetically speaking.

And surrounds me with ruby red protection.

I become fierce and unyielding.

Ready to spit back or endure.

I will be the biggest dragon in Portland to avoid a physical fight and shut down any other kind.

But I melt into safety when a “bigger dragon” is in my area.

Encountering one allows the dragon to turn sapphire blue and go to sleep. And my true self emerges.

I’m soft, gentle and sweet. Good natured with a creed I stick to and patience for anyone. Everyone is beautiful to me. And I connect to others easily.

A mischievous pixie who could do with losing a few if the cortisol would let up.

It’s such a dichotomy that people think there are two people living here.

So it gets weird if someone appropriates my pen name or true identity. Or just someone has the same name.

Because everyone else is confused too.

I’m not used to there being an other Sylvanna or Melissa around. And now some claim to be both.

There’s a mysterious problem in this building – mostly from my stalker. So I must regularly be a giant dragon.

But by any spirit listening, I’d rather be a pixie.

It sounds like I should breathe fire however. Because I never was and never will be a whore.

Yes, that seems to be in question despite the fact I haven’t been in the same room as anyone else since February.

But some intellectually incapable she-wolf has lied, and lied, and lied about me.

Who knows how many have pretended to be me.

Some racist arseholes who use language I find so offensive I won’t write them for the affront they cause my soul.

Some lies are disgusting vile rumors, that I would let harm come to the vulnerable through my own actions.

And I still don’t really know what the hell is going on.

Except I lived up the road from an identity thief turned cyberpunk terrorist. And now at the end of the hall from a vigilante thief.

Exciting

When can I go back to being soft and sweet please?

Because this needing to be a dragon crap is old.

When asked if there is a God, why do we exist?

I’ve said we exist because he does but it wasn’t enough

He answered he wanted children

Not gods themselves

But enough family to feel loved at least a fraction he loves us.

Faith is important. But loving God is the ultimate kindness to our maker.