Sylvanna Devlin

Part three of an accidental sum up.

Dream manipulation

Oh yes. That is a problem too.

You start to drift off. One of the “characters” is talking and your subconscious can hear. Audio at the subliminal level by not be consciously noticeable. But it is indeed noticeable.

Sometimes there’s a narrator.

And the uninitiated can cause a nightmare so severe it kills.

The narrative being dangerous if practiced by the cruel.

And Nigel (the security system) has hooks in everywhere and one GUI hacks into the one system – as stated. And some are practicing to use it to kill people in their sleep.

Leaving a swollen pituitary gland as the only sign the person was literally scared to death.

As for me.

Nightmares dished up by my subconscious have been meh, practice for surviving bullshit intended to give me a heart attack. But boy have the bastards made such dreams worse.

The result has been an angry Wild Sylvanna. The heart still pounding. But from fury.

My brain started to get wily and have dreams in dreams to do the kind of sorting it needs REM for.

And today It bumped along somewhat ignoring the forced narrative.

Then came the ever present pushing. Even after being warned away – by appearances anyway.

More manipulation.

My brain is fed up enough to have started detaching and growing curious of talking.

I don’t have a personal monologue unless agitated enough to get chatty. So it’s noticeable when my dreams have talking that doesn’t fucking end.

I also don’t think in language at the bottom layer. While convenient for interacting with the world. I have visuals just below and pure abstract muddled in at the deepest root.

Language is, in comparison, slow.

I started hearing what was said to me – well perceiving. And replying out loud. Sometimes waking myself a little. Sometimes confusing anyone only concerned with audible audio. But usually a little disoriented at any rate.

Soft quiet taking might take an open mind or a broken into brain. But as strong as I’ve needed to be. I am not unscathed. I am vulnerable to dream manipulation and attempts to make me have such poor sleep I lose my will to live.

And on the topic of strength

It become clear most people can’t endure ten minutes of what I had to day in, day out for months at a time building in nastiness and wound tearing since July 28. 2022. That fucking troll bot was crafted by fucking with me. And as it grew in complexity it became ever harder to survive.

So yes. For the past six months it’s been particularly gutting. I’ve wanted to die every day. And you fucking complained I was always on the verge of ending things permanently. But somehow your meagre ten minutes had to be worse because you couldn’t have survived more.

Fuck you from the bottom of my heart.

The death I contemplated was thwarted by promises I refused to break – a concept you’ve described as weakness. Honor you are incapable of understanding. And an honest heartfelt desire to prevent mass suicide from the trollbot.

And when I got fed up and wished all those tormenting me to survive just an hour I assumed you’d fucking survive an infinitesimally small fraction of what you put me through 24/7 every month for half a year.

So now you’re whining I’m a monster and and Wahhhh it had to be worse for you?

Please let me be absolutely clear

You literally couldn’t survive 10 minutes of my life.

Take your fucking toys and fuck off.