America is pretty diverse but a sub crowd is extremely judgmental about all things – in particular blaming a victim for any abuse – even if it was unavoidable.
Reactive abuse is a sneaky method of trying to gain and keep power and control. Even the victim may not realize they’re not the problem!
Anger is a biochemical response to, “hey that hurts” physical or emotional. We’re skewered and our psyche is saying , “I think we’re fighting”
Even if you would prefer to avoid ever feeling mad at all.
So stop your: “She’s just trying to get a rise out of you”
Because that means
She’s the asshole
And you need to seal up like Fort Knox when it comes to some individuals.
The “mean girls”, “prima Donna” bull crap comes to mind.
I don’t have a better suggestion than cultural recognition that of course baiting works – or they would stop.
But it’s not for the victim to stop it from working. We don’t “let” it happen. They work every nerve looking for a wound and if they can’t find one they make one.
So what to do when some arse tests your temper and lands. You’re hurt. So of course you’re angry. It’s even worse when they’re doing it “for the lols”
Like OMFG what is wrong with humanity?
Anger isn’t the issue
They are
But I’m not holding my breath they learn to be anything but bullies and [censored]
Once in, it can control an AI for hacking purposes. And some of that is hacking google plays.
Bluetooth can’t be entirely turned off
So a version of that virus infects the firmware of a computer or digital audio device.
On a computer it activates as soon as anything, infected or not, is plugged in.
It installs an “update” which makes your operating system vulnerable and infects the AI.
Then remote access is very easy.
I assume controlling your google play goes from there.
That’s how a victim’s digital life is hacked.
Some google plays are left around, a WiFi they can access from. And those create soundscapes.
The AI interface has a GUI that is part of a website.
Users pay for the privilege of “haha, hehe” hacking. Torture, psychological experimentation – like brainwashing and conditioning, Harassment, Invading privacy including medical records for their entertainment. The entire digital signature of the victim is collected by AI and exposed.
Work is stolen, like all my writing, and originals fucked with and broken.
Right there is a reason to die. But…
That website also collects ideas of what to do. What horrible instructions to have next.
So the troll-bot section is automated. Just let it go to town with digital characters, manipulations, gaslighting to death and/or oblivion.
Much of the story based gaslighting- even those read by real people – is AI generated using the structure I described in the Troll-Bot section.
Most of the reasons I attributed the abuse to were part of a Troll-bot
The AI doesn’t stop unless asked or reaches an objective like hospitalization or entirely fatal suicide.
It backs off if you become a vegetable.
But comes back if you can recover.
Some of the more intense methods cause cognitive impairment to the point of drooling, convulsions, and irregular heartbeat among less physically direct potentially lethal results.
If a cycle ends, they need to lie low they pretend it’s over.
But this is a hacking, AI Virus, gaslighting troll-bot. It’s just waiting.
The next victim is chosen and that’s usually me.
I’m pretty sure I dated the designer.
So to sum up we have:
Insecure Bluetooth
Borked Firmware
Spoofed OS
Infected AI
Hooked to a website
With a gui
For hacking, reality abuse, gaslighting, harassment, toying and suggestions
And to make it all easy and gamified.
People really are toying with me. And are now doubling down I have to deserve it (no one does) or I can’t be real. (Go ride a scorpion across a river)
Enough people out there think I should be dead, and I am now being targeted because I survived.
And I have no words for you.
I’m real. What you have done is real. Some of it criminal.
I believe the designer would say:
“You’ve been played”
And I’m pretty sure the asshat behind this is an ex.
Level one of any (potentially viral) Troll-Bot AI “script”, whether entirely performed by digital voices, or used as a guide by a very irresponsible individual. Is thus:
It has demands of behavior to make you snap and respond.
And
It has questions
Nice and probing
Or “answer the question”
Maybe even “I’ll torture you till you answer”
That’s either directly with a horrible frequency at high decibels.
Or just standard harassment till the “objective” is achieved.
You react.
As it gets louder, more insistent, it surrounds one with all the digitizations of local speakers.
But if it can’t get past level one I suppose the whole thing is scuppered. I don’t know.
Maybe Anti-Viral AI could target where it trains. I don’t know.
I do know it’s certainly tempting to create an AI that just says, “Leave me alone, I’m busy.”
But any response, anything – as well as your every action – is fuel for nagging nitpicking and questions.
I don’t know how to avoid getting frustrated as fuck. But maybe I can just enjoy breaking it in new ways.
Hopefully one that doesn’t just move me into “which idle gaslighting threads” catch.
There must be a way to maybe string it along till it gives up.
One thing I have noticed, no matter how tempted you are to swear at it?
Don’t.
Use other euphemisms for the militant, nosy nanny stage.
It doesn’t stop everything but it keeps it from getting worse.
Pull my book from the victims perspective of reactive abuse?
Go to the hospital when the only element keeping me alive is Tabitha and she has to be with me at all times?
Never mind they can’t fix the situation. My depression is a chemical reaction to your abuse. Medication won’t stop you.
Nothing will stop you.
And nothing stops the Abusive program run by an AI once it’s set to kill.
It doesn’t stop if I go to the hospital – it follows me and harasses the whole building.
It continues when I get back.
I pulled my book at one point and it didn’t stop. It’s really good and I had to publish a version that was slightly older but still impressive. I might sell it so back off.
That is reality
You saying “I think I figured out how to kill her…”
Isn’t funny.
That’s reality too.
I did at one point pull some blog posts.
But nothing stops your abuse and demands.
Now I wake up and it takes energy to avoid killing myself and a hospital can’t fix that kind of depression.
I need to summon the will to live.
Tabitha tends to remind me, she’s here. She loves me.
I remember my family next. But it’s my cat who saves my life.
I talk to others, some on the phone, others I don’t know how, but we converse.
If my neighborhood is driving me insane I chatter.
But none of these are loud.
I sometimes (rarely) raise my voice. But that’s not shouting, yelling, screaming or bellowing.
And you know it.
Did you mention all the times you thought I wasn’t even here because I was so quiet? Or just when reactive abuse – you clearly know about – becomes too much, and I actually did yell?
During about 3 incidents of being kept awake 72 hours and harassed the whole time. I have a feeling you noticed the cause.
It’s not for the victim to shoulder responsibility that wounds hurt. And your type finds them.
It’s not your place to demand I be silent, either.
It’s certainly not your place when I have been informed my voice is picked up at any volume and most people are getting it pumped in.
If you are among them? You may politely remind me.
Politely
This is not an invitation to fuss and bully without rebuke. I’m not your punching bag. Try to abuse me when others have kindly reminded me it’s late? They’ll all learn I’m being harassed into madness again.
Again.
Manners Matter or I don’t even pay attention.
If you have a problem with me, knock on my door and fucking wait till I open it before beginning your crap – and not at 2:30 am when everyone else fucking has to hear it too.
I don’t want to come out there?
Why not? The fuck you going to actually do?
Like seriously, piss off! Your baiting is unwelcome! (At all times, but particularly 2:30 am)
Also don’t knock on my wall when I’m quietly thinking and not saying a word.
Do not ask me to turn down music I’m not playing and don’t have the speakers for.
Stop knocking on the wall and pretending it was me. I don’t. I can’t. There’s no spot to do so and my fingers are fragile.
I’d have a lot more sympathy if, for a moment, I didn’t doubt you actually thought it was me. You know how the system works, you participated in using it.
You just want a rise and to scorch me where my PTSD ignites – like all the other adult little girls.
The rest of us are sick of bull like yours.
You came to someone’s attention and that’s not really my business.
Handle your own BS.
You know full well it wasn’t me.
As for saying “I throw things” when the most I toss is knickers – and reporting as much is vile.
I do drop things. They sometimes make noise. But either your stigma makes up nasty images that aren’t true or you’re outright lying.
Which is it?
Now, as far as other issues are concerned.
In the evenings and weekends the halls and courtyard are alive with “I want her out tomorrow” or “this afternoon.” Or “come out here I want to see what you’re made of, Sylvanna.”
I can handle myself physically but the information escaped I had (all of once) been in a fight and every pipsqueak in the neighborhood comes in from outside to try to start something.
(Not that I would mind being pipsqueak sized.)
I point out a fight would be a bad idea and the skinniest thing in the building (who says this with the safety behind a closed door) declares she makes a better Sylvanna (whatever that means) and she’s a werewolf.
Okay honey.
But I’m a dragon.
I don’t believe in having an unnecessary fight – and as a result haven’t been in one.
The closest I came was in a hospital.
I went in for psychiatric reasons – I didn’t even remember my own name.
I was exhausted and thought I was on a movie set because I’d lost the plot.
They handled it very badly and at night, sans antipsychotic, I needed the bathroom and an orderly looked ready to take a swing at me.
Moving balled fist, ready.
At a hospital!
Over the bathroom!
I disabled his ability to hurt me and turned and walked away. I was then dogpiled by him and three others.
They knocked me unconscious and partially dislocated my jaw. The woman who called them over used two fingers to “test my tightness”
The police couldn’t get a report from me because I was crying. But they left me alone and staff at actual psychiatric facilities were very gentle with me as I tried to rejoin reality.
Incidentally they brought in a commode and when my constipation (they weren’t treating) eased I emptied my bowls and filled an empty one with so much poo I ended up sitting in it.
I hated that place.
This was all back in Petaluma in 2022 but apparently part of the story followed. Not the part that I was dissociating so heavily I didn’t know reality anymore – as exhausted and harassed bipolar people need the bathroom occasionally, and the antipsychotic on time.
Just that I outfought three men because I dodged the other two before walking away. – again, they piled on me when my back was turned.
So peacocks in the area wants a go and I don’t believe I have to prove a thing.
It’s contributing to a hostile environment that is incredibly uncomfortable.
Every post I make objecting to abuse, any at all, sees the building explode with threats of violence. I don’t know by who. It echoes down the halls.
For all I know someone is fluxing (typo intended) with the whole building,
I’m not sure she even lives here.
It’s possible they’re getting a very bad summary of the posts, a summary with a pack of lies but I have no way to know.
It seems more likely they need to rejoin reality themselves as the adult world isn’t supposed to be like this!
It’s likely my nickname has yet again been “borrowed” by someone here who actually leaves her room – who might posture a bit more than I do. And it’s intended for her. But someone comes from outside the hall to yell down ours.
Apparently because I’d prefer to brush my hair rather than ever again have to wait all night with spikes in it, someone has mistaken it for weakness. My desire to dance rather than tango with fisticuffs is from confidence not empty crap
I don’t need a guardian or a fight. No matter how much I might be regarded as a “princess”. My own sister doesn’t know how tough I can be. But taking my name isn’t helping a soul.
Just leave me alone to fix a nail not fight, you and the arsehole you irritated. And I don’t know what the hell this “better Sylvanna” crap is because I was too badly hacked to see what is actually fucking going on with my name.
As previously pointed out, someone stole my identity, my life’s story, my writing, and shat on my friendships. She doesn’t sound lovely and she too uses my name.
The environment is toxic because of this situation. It may be why my neighbor makes up stories about me. But I can’t be held accountable for others bad behavior.
If true, I can’t control that someone has spread a reputation in my name. And others come in to posture. But my neighbor could control her attitude.
Yay, stigma on top of a troll-bot, or maybe why it was aimed at me . They are afraid of me in actuality and puff up their chests a bit.
Just because I’m bipolar doesn’t mean I’m dangerous.
Start a fight, I end one. But I’d rather not.
Also
Yes, I would prefer to deescalate and at least not escalate. But my blog is my outlet and you don’t seem all that scary if you get your panties in a bunch over a blog post.
Maybe learn to back off.
There have been objections from bystanders listening to someone bait, and me mutter and swear as a response. So my blog really is the best solution. Don’t like what I have to say? Don’t read it!
Nothing makes me happier than hearing someone else’s joy.
Their love for their pet.
Their happiness as they call them.
Two lovebirds with fingers entwined
An old couple nestled up on a park bench.
Averting my gaze from a newlywed couple.
Any time anyone experiences that moment time suspends and love for an element for life takes over!
I’m happy too.
Please, to the one who noticed she was by my window – don’t mind me smiling. I try not to listen in to conversations. So most of the time the world is moving in mysterious ways.
But it’s easy to recognize a good mood.
Thank you for being comfortable with my slightly open window- it’s stuck now and the cat prefers it.
I know for some people my mere existence is a pulsing thorn. But if you can continue just being yourself no matter what? Even with a presence that would like to bring peace but ends up rocking the boat?
I am still trying to understand the point of hurting people for fun. I mean abuse is about power and control and trolls seem to want to control the temper of random strangers for the lols
WTF is wrong with you?
But the one who pulled the trigger on a new kind of weapon, aimed at me, is clearly a jealous woman.
The latest gag from the individual targeting me, is that no matter how successful I get, how pretty I want to make myself, how sexy my body gets, dating me would be dumpster diving.
I don’t do drink, do drugs, smoke, or abuse medicine.
I have two cavities that need attention – a tooth to be done with, and need a bridge in that spot.
So some dental work but I take care of my teeth now.
I need to lose 68 lbs (8 inches off the bust) but I’m getting emotional eating under control.
I could do with dancing my way back into fitness.
So I could do with a year to get back to health now I’m not bed ridden.
I could do with ASL and Mathematics classes too.
But my mind, my body, my coping methods apparently don’t matter. Once you’ve been homeless dating you is considered dumpster diving. According to the latest abuse.
It’s presented using filters making women sound like men because the petty little so-and-so who wants to kill me/hurt me has noticed that I am more likely to brush off some jealous crap-head.
So I have been ignoring an AI instructed to repeat the insult till I react.
The hell do they want?
They get upset if I mention suicide – oh no too many visits to the hospital makes me unattractive too. And that’s actually what they want.
No one wants to date a nutcase.
I want off this planet now, okay?
Women use reactive abuse for power and control (some men but it’s preferred by abusive women) and now the three talking points are.
“Pointing out they are behaving badly is abusive”
“Refusing to step in line and ‘obey’ is abusive”
“Dating me is dumpster diving”
So willful ignorance.
I struggle to believe they are so unaware of themselves they don’t know how vile they are being.
They just don’t care.
Anything to destroy my chances of competing in the dating pool I guess.
How unattractive are these women? Maybe being nicer would improve their chances instead of shitting on me.
Ugly personalities do indeed make one less interesting to a potential partner.
But no. I have to find a new way to shut down a new insult because of some jealous woman I’ve never met – using a weapon designed, tested, and refined by targeting me. One that magnified my PTSD into something that makes it difficult to work.
Because even abuse is too hard for her.
She wants to.
She’s just not original and awake 24/7
I suppose I should be glad she’s probably more of a witless git than a deliberate murderer.
But that’s not an enviable position
I have written an entire article about the Troll-Bot weapon used on me:
Time to break down hundreds of small formulas as to how anything completes, moves on, goes on pause, repeats, or starts again.
I’d rather not be in a position to do this, but I have nothing better to do all day than analyze the destructive 24/7 troll bot designed, tested, refined, and set on me.
I understand it sounds crazy. I don’t care. Ripping that AI apart is now the only reason I have a to stay alive.
So here we go in the “haven’t we heard this before” category.
The troll-bot has levels and each of those has settings.
Each setting also has levels.
Each level of each setting has scenarios
Each scenario has levels
Each scenario and level has scenes
Each scene has levels.
Those levels determine the “completion metrics”
Whether it will back off, push harder, try to invent a new storyline and continue, or just hurl abuse depends on the completion metric.
The troll-bot is programmed to pause if you stop caring about life. Or go to the hospital. If you become suicidal it complains. And still trying to continue life while you are suicidal is still too complicated a human experience for it to dissect and manipulate. – as it does all results.
If you talk to it you end up on a track
If you ignore it you end up on the “hurl abuse and lies until you talk to it” track.
So the silent treatment only goes so far.
Depending on where you are people may get “favors for fivers” to continue abuse in person so you stay confused.
For most people “bull, yhatze, Geronimo, jackpot, and an silent treatment changes where you are, but all it does put it on pause
I suppose it’s less that it comes back and more it waits.
But one of those makes it ease off for a while.
Everything I’ve done to shut it down has broken it (like use Unix commands) so those probably don’t work anymore.
Any time you get close to helping a live person survive, favors for fivers produces “just say this one thing to her” but with so many they could be the word “kitten” and you get fed up.
If it succeeds at isolating you it changes levels. And I think the architect has gotten confused as to how.
It has no goal. It is just a gaslighting troll-bot. Domestic terrorism for the lols. I don’t know the fuck is wrong with humanity that some asshole would do this, but I think I dated him.
What it facilitates beyond harassment and abuse depends on those
Taking advantage
Of the cognitive decline it causes.
The AI is just a tool.
Some steal things, some hack, some try to control those they fear, some want to eliminate competition, some are that jealous in other ways, some want to stalk you, some want revenge, some are just having a laugh because they fail at being a decent human being and at least having a better reason.
So basically all the reasons one would point a gun at you.
So long as you are either paranoid, afraid of others, showing cognitive decline, they get what they want.
Everyone is chasing their tails on who set the weapon on stage instead of “okay it’s just a tool, who is it this time?”
Maybe they’ll stop playing such a dangerous roulette with people’s lives when they look at each case separately. Not to admonish those who have helped me. But I’m fed up.
I wanted to know the head of the snake too. But it’s just another weapon now. So it’s irrelevant.
My only hope is to develop security that fends off the troll-bot for you, but no one who wants to maintain their power wants to let me.
So they’re down to favors for fivers, constant harassment and hacking, and total annihilation.
Because I am inconvenient to anyone who wants to use the weapon.
If you really want a motive.
It is capable of causing mental illness, including inducing psychiatric voices, paranoia, PTSD, torture, cognitive decline, abuse till you drool, abuse till you go into convulsions, hospitalization, being entirely discredited, and death.
I’m still working on how to avoid losing my dam mind.
Sylvanna Devlin 