Sylvanna Devlin

Okay.

Leaving aside more recent history, because OMG

Napoleon, the little dictator who could, targeted Russia in the winter time.

Which was unusually stupid.

He then was convinced he would win, absolutely 100 % he’d (get that rascally rabbit?) win.

This time.

He poured all his resources into fighting Russia.

In their territory

In the wintertime.

It was…

A bad idea.

And his undoing.

Terrorists have been doing a movie style line of action trying to target me. Because I survived this long.

Not alone, mind.

But not because I myself belong to an organization.

But because this is America and actually patriotic people believe in “no man left behind.”

My job was to survive long enough for there to be something for them to save and it did take being “that smart” to do so.

But this self rescuing princess actually had a lot of people rescuing her the rest of the way.

But. I survived.

There had to be something there. The “ohh shiny” please be distracted by her became the target of obsession by more … loosely held together groups.

Because I’m literally the girl who lived.

Thanks to a surgeon and thousands of years of medical research. Actually.

I lived.

That took gods help too.

But my smarts and knowledge kept me alive while I unraveled what was happening faster than a computer could hope.

At the speed of light?

Well does electricity move that fast?

Think of thunderstorms. Yes the thunder is actually when you hear it because it’s faster than sound. But you see lightning and the speed of light is faster.

So we’ll go with the speed of electrical signals firing in the glob of electrical sentient fat that is a brain.

But a computer has to go though analytical protocols and flag.

While I can make those connections at the speed of my thoughts.

Which can be (thanks to bipolar) so crazy fast it seems like they are up against a super computer named Melissa

…

We’ll leave that alone.

Now the terrorists are back to the drawing board because the latest was keeping us awake for a prerequisite time till trying gaslight to death and I scuppered that.

Why no Gag order?

You mean except as suggested by terrorists?

It must be pretty handy to have someone without clearance to lose who can warn everyone because I can figure it out.

But the other sides (yes plural) think I either am or run a super computer.

(And those with clearance can’t say anything but would kind of like to.)

Yes I’m spelling that out to at the hopes everyone settles the fuck down.

Because “why do they let you [fill in the blank]” was next.

Now it’s less bugs bunny enemies and more wile e coyote. And this is getting stupid and crazy at the same time.

Any more questions?