This was harder to take than I want to admit,
Sylvanna Devlin
I am Melissa Devlin, but you can call me Sylvanna.
-
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Happy New Year! -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
I don’t really have much to report about this day.
I tidied up – generating several full trash bags in the process.
I reorganized my beside tables, computer and journal bags, fixed my sliding bed.
I practiced better posture for 30 min and found I could really do with training my core.
I played with makeup again. Something has to teach me not to rub my eyes, my forehead and don’t pick my lips!
It’s barely afternoon and I’m unmotivated and blah. I had plans for tomorrow but I’m far too exhausted to go.
I’ll get dressed to the nines (whatever that means) do my hair. Little make-up. And crack open a bottle of alcohol removed champagne!
Take some pictures and go absolutely no where unless I order curry or whatever is around in the evening.
Then I’ll go to the door looking like a bombshell – well practicing to be one.
Maybe I’ll post a Video – provided I can figure out how. And what to say. No promises.
My “panic button chic” -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
I swear I was so tired I slept the whole day!
I’m okay. I guess. -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
But exhausted of selfies.
Here’s one from around Christmas
Yay! Excited! Well not really. But contemplative. -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Long story.
Don’t know what’s with the laser pointers! -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
Upon those responsible.
I implore you to come back to reality and stop. -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
I spent my Christmas evening trying to figure out how to rotate an image without photoshop, pixelmater, or G.I.M.P. (Gnome Image Manipulation Program)
These two need fixing
Blurry but interesting 
And a rare dancing shot since digital cameras were a tad expensive back then. (My outfit after a severe fashion snafu almost destroyed a performance. Certainly altered it) At least I have a recent (As in this Christmas) headshot when fooling around with makeup for the first time in about a year,
Yep, that’s one exhausted former dancer in bad lighting. Maybe by the time I pick it all back up I’ll light the room or something. -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
It’s the holidays and I’m contemplative
Sometimes I look completely different.
Me but what? 
Recognizably me. There were years in between. Look at the features and if measured would be the same. But separate mood? I look shallow and fake. But it’s just me with minimal makeup.
The other? Different but still with make up. And I swear you can see me thinking.
Sometime in 2018 I lost the life in me. By 2021 it was returning but,,,
Not amused
There are plenty of selfies to see as I progress: And the light is nearly there in all. People again tried to destroy me and with no sleep and the torment that goes beyond bullying? And I seem like I couldn’t possibly be the sweetheart people remember.
I don’t want to be the biggest dragon in the building but can be. Till I sense a bigger one, and can relax.
Meet me in person? The sparkle is there.
-
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
I’ve been sorting and organizing Data but the writer bug is done for, at least today.
I look like a wreck too.
So here is Tabitha again.
My cat facepalms! But to light, not bad ideas. Thankfully -
I was a writer. Now I seek more to life.
(Sorry for repitition jet pack is being hacked as I type this)
Mob mentality and “hehe haha” wind up the bipolar intellectual and isn’t it funny?”
Um no. Bullying like yours lead to a severe suicide attempt.
Let’s not make this common okay?
So what have you done?
So much I swore you were trying to “vanish me”?
“HeHe haha let’s make this person in a protected class worse and think she needs a med change
“Again
“Let’s make the bipolar person believe anything we want.
“Let’s make a mental illness worse
“Let’s see what it takes to drive her to the hospital again.
“Because hehe haha”
Fuck you.
Because, “oh no! I don’t want to live next to a crazy person. We made you ill and then complained about it.
“Why does your PTSD, Bipolar, dyslexia, and ADHD lead you to a soft spot with those who know you are still trying your best?
“I want to be in a protected class too!
“Hehe haha ‘I’m Sylvanna.’
“Hehe haha ‘I’m Melissa Devlin’
“The police won’t know the difference right?”
May you never lead a life with as much suffering as mental illness can bring.
“But HeHe HaHa you once had a job that made money. You father is an actual case of poverty to wealth – he did it, he doesn’t understand why you can’t.”
So which of these were real and which were “hehe haha gaslighting is bullying”
Vanishing a person?
Sending a cult after their writing
Attempted to sell into sex trafficking
Attempts to hook onto drugs
Attempts at brain washing
Forced virtual neighborhoods
Souring surroundings
Favors for fivers
Random comments from strangers
Dragging every potential enemy in an exhaustive stream of individuals.
Creating and using a gaslighting robot
Using private AI and stolen work just to wound
Reality abuse – “until she reaches oblivion”
Gaslighting – sometimes “to death”
Hacking oh golly, gee whiz the hacking.
Vanishing others with more to lose.
Basic regular abusive crap.
Chased everywhere by “Stalkers”.
Sound abuse
Sound used to torture- directly in a loud burst and through prolonged frequencies.
Commenting on private notes.
Threats of attempting to create a whore of the traditional kind
Threats of attempts on my life
Actual near attempts on my life?
Hurting/Stealing my cat
Thieving
Surveillance?
Standard harassment and bullying
Oop sorry – almost forgot? “We made you paranoid”
Oh yes sweetie. You did.
“mean we did these things and made you believe anything we wanted.
Mob mentality and “hehe haha” wind up the bipolar intellectual and isn’t it funny?”
It took six lines and tubes in my body to rescue me.
No one new how to bill for a surgery so new I really might have been a first in Oregon,
“Let’s see what it takes to drive her to the hospital again.
“Because hehe haha”
Fuck you.
Oh sorry, I forgot
Because, “oh no! I don’t want to live next to a crazy person. We made you ill and then complained about it.
Why does your PTSD, Bipolar, dyslexia? And ADHD lead you to a soft spot with those who know you are still trying your best?
I want to be in a protected class too!
Hehe haha “I’m Sylvanna.”
Hehe haha “I’m Melissa Devlin”
The police won’t know the difference right?
May you never lead a life with as much suffering as mental illness can bring.
“I mean we did these things and made you believe the weirdest theories into why. You should be in a hospital or dead.
“Hehe haha right?”
Let’s not make me into Geiger art again shall we.
Because you know it’s fatal. But a mob means you can hide behind each other. So which one of you with a cumulative affect of your abuse actually killed me?
Sorry attempted Murder
Yeah, this bullshit again.
