Sylvanna Devlin

I reviewed my most recent post.

It sounds exactly like the typical crazy beliefs that the mentally ill succumb to. Particularly those with severe PTSD.

Has the audio environment been real? The gaslighting was true. At what point did it stop?

Do all these assholes saying “come back to reality” have a point? Obnoxious they may be.

When did abuse become vivid hallucinations and paranoia? A desire to be left alone with my cat?

The new short story. Grim as it is. Did someone really say they want me to write it?

The project will take about three years. Will I be adding a different perspective?

That of the person who desperately wants quiet and safety but an abusive sticky fingers has aggravated PTSD?

I’ve talked to others. I have texts. She’s an horrendous bitch. But is that all there is to her?

Was I driven further into madness to the point audio surrounds me so clearly I can’t tell its hallucinations?

I mean clearly.

As solid to me as holding a cup of water.

And the criticism. The micro criticism. The nit picking, hen pecking jealousy?

Did that stop but the a strange world enveloping me continued driving paranoia so deep I believe in the strangest things?

Did the lying and gaslighting fuck me up that much?

Real. The audio I swore was real..

There’s no lover in the wings. Is there?

I mean a shadow organization – that focuses on cyber security and psychological Operations?

Come on. That has to how paranoia develops.

The weirdo reacting strangely. Because no one listens.

The police reports have been real. Theft, abuse, gaslighting, harassment. Someone sent me spiraling

But is it really her job to?

Or is she, just kind of awful

And my PTSD surrounds the rest?

I don’t know what to do. I looked at my posts. The progression of madness. When did the line blur?

I sound like every average extremely lost mentally ill woman with PTSD. “The others are crazy but my experiences – similar as they are have too much evidence not to be real?”

Or is someone gloating?