Sylvanna Devlin

I recently learned some of the “broadcast” is indeed not consensual for any of us. And it’s possible bluetooth monitors get my grumpiness. 

Terrorists tend not to be choosy.

It had been the case that I heard that before – sort of. (It didn’t occur to me baby’s could hear because Bluetooth is Bluetooth.)

The depth of the situation was so buried by abuse and gaslighting I began to believe it was just a way to control me, anyway . No way does something like this happen and unscrupulous individuals gaslight the truth away.

Ahhhh.

From all of us to the cult like terrorists “WTF”

I was still trying to swear less. But I did not stick to agreed upon hours.

Then I thought it was “all over”. And eased off.

Nope. Just a new Bluetooth environment getting hacked. 

This is not a good sign for my desire to move. But I absolutely can not continue to live where I was. I will kill myself. I was on the edge too many times and the abusive women there compounded my PTSD so thoroughly I might never recover.

Though I have choice words I will have to be more careful- fresh ears may be too young to hear the swearing I wish to grumble with.

Though evolutionsbremse is probably a good one still. (Thank you German). 

I apologize for becoming difficult. I had thought it all finished anyway. I was out of the environment of that abusive… user and manipulator. And things have certainly been quieter.

I still have the hours agreed upon.

Sound hours were 9am – 5pm Mon-Thurs.

I do need to be able to take a bath/have a shower. But I was asked to wait till 6:00am and not have a bath in the middle of the night.(So after 9:00pm)

Hopefully so long as don’t mutter. I can review my notes and writing quietly and I can still do that whenever I’m actually capable- which thanks to PTSD is an hour long at a time and not every day.

Mornings or just waking I tend to mutter. I’ll try to remember the word “Bluetooth” and settle myself down.

Someone said, reasonably so.

“It’s not your fault, but it is your problem.”

It’s not fair to anyone really. But please give me patience as I didn’t choose any of this and I will try to be more accommodating.

Why should you worry about whether I live or die?

I’m the current bullseye. I kill myself and there’s another, potentially someone very powerful. I might not be terribly important to everyone but I am the most likely to hold fast.

With some patience and a change in living arrangements.