Sylvanna Devlin

I have another post coming out later today – per request. But have something to say about how you can relate to being so abused you disconnect from reality.

Think about this nightmare.

You believe your dream is real – that deeply in. And be about to die a horrific death, and think you wake, but in a scenario you’re pinned to a chair, another dream, the chair again. That dream would mess you up for the day.

Now imagine someone does that to you with a twisting narrative. In and out of their fiction for 72 hours. You’re awake. Can’t sleep. And can’t help but listen.

You’ve already been broken into. Parts were true, you know that. But you can’t hold on to which part was real and which part was reality abuse and which part was gaslighting..

And if you imagine how messed with that dream would make you feel? Being kept awake with a similar version of audio narrative is dangerous.

What I don’t know. What is possible. Since your brain needs to control its own REM. If that’s repeated for a night?

You might have trouble waking in reality.

And become suicidal.

Reality abuse invents a false reality.

Gaslighting changes it.

Together they can be lethal

We need reality. Our psyche depends upon it. And as much as I have forced myself to lose touch and decide everything I heard was ghosts kept me alive?

It took five days to “come back to reality.”

There is no snap back after lack of sleep swarms delusional thinking around you. Only rest and in some circumstances therapy.

I have, a number of years ago, fallen to such a dissociative state I didn’t remember my own name and thought I was on a movie set – driven there by lack of sleep and reality abuse.

It took me 10 days to recover.. And I was in the hospital.

I deliberately swarmed delusional thinking around me to survive. As stated.

Again that took five days.

Then there was the 92 hours with only 2 hours of sleep – at some point. And not restful.

I disconnected and became the goddess Nepenthe. My dancing name from my twenties and now the only reason I lived.

I was in a state of oblivion and I created my world.

I finally got some sleep. And I lost track of how long it took to recover.

That reality abuse creates its own reality, is the only real aspect to that experience, and it’s really dangerous.