Sylvanna Devlin

Joshua Sonnikson is in his mid forties, gifted with computers oddly magnetic to vulnerable women and if they’re not vulnerable he will make it so.

His cult of teenagers is revolting but not massively surprising. He doesn’t see why societal “norms” should apply to him when creative free thinkers are so different and loved for it

As he doesn’t know the difference between a social norm and a societal boundary. Blowing off bad hairstyles isn’t delving into manipulative abuse with nothing too low to do.

He and his fellow bottom dwellers have reached vile depths of what they’ll do and what they will accuse others of.

Nothing too awful for them to avoid doing or saying

Now. Many are aware I know about the dangers of that man from being on the receiving end of his budding abuse, his experimentation. And what it’s like to stop thinking for yourself.

But Joshua made a mistake.

All abusers do.

He asked me to behave in a way counter to my upbringing.

Shouting “go buffs”. And throwing a hissy I wouldn’t. “I’m not going into the Dunahabe tea house with you.

“Okay, you can wait outside”

One does not ask someone from England to embarrass themselves. Small but satisfying.

Though, if we are to take this seriously again, his power had begun waning earlier that year – when a psychologist I was seeing for career advice asked me if I really did want to move to Portland with my “friend.”

I didn’t. But I noticed he blamed the one giving the advice instead of me. Like I couldn’t make my own decisions.

After that and after I fled to Palo Alto. Not quite clear on what was wrong. But something was. He still had his claws a little in me.

Then the Colorado trip. And the buffs.

Then the confidence my work environment built despite being hell on us.

I wouldn’t lie about something to do with my car. The next day was his birthday and he was throwing a sulk. He didn’t want me to go to a car show on his birthday anymore. Because I refused to apologize for something I hadn’t done wrong – and wouldn’t lie.

I turned to my boss, having gone in on my day off. “Good news, I can stay longer and get this paperwork sorted.”

A bumpy escape trajectory later I was piecing myself back together from nothing with the help of a talented therapist. In another state, hoping it was all behind me.

I talked to a friend, another sort of ex. A little about our mutual experiences. I almost fell into PUA style clutches again. And then there was my ex spouse

…

But all long behind me it was a terrifying confusing mess when Joshua Sonnikson targeted me, driving me insane with reality abuse and gaslighting, torture of multiple kinds, and psych ops on my family.

I didn’t know who or why, my stuff was too hacked to find out, and no one else seemed to know either.

But that’s parts behind us, isn’t it. Cultlings? He’s claiming my writing is his – well it isn’t but it’s not worth him doing so anyway is his new one. And the abused don’t notice the change.

The philosophy he got from me is a chapter in a section of a book I’m working on. But somehow ideas I’m still mulling over were stolen from that intelligent airhead.

I’m actually extremely skilled and talented as a writer and was on the cusp of a career when he began shitting on me so that one is annoying. But not quite at annoying as taking the philosophy I wrote under “Michael Weaver” as his own somehow. That I, known then as Sylver, somehow killed the me that was Michael Weaver because I sought treatment for Bipolor. And thinking something pamphlet sized I wrote in my 20’s is nearly enough to unravel the universe in.

It’s all annoying really. And I’d like to be left alone by both Joshua’s allies and enemies.

So is Tabitha

These look like what’s called for when it comes to all of this

I haven’t read the first and last but found the middle book revolutionized the way I thought about all relationships. Not just romantic.

But in the event you do?

Please don’t talk to me, ask me questions, try to get a rise out of me. And you can save your backhanded compliments.

I’ll still do my best to be polite but I have no interest in an interchange of any kind. I didn’t really want to deal with lies before. Now I’m not going to.

Think what you will because you believe a cult leader and a bitch. You call me a stupid bitch then whine endlessly I returned the favor. You cal me worse.

I’m done. You’re all either blind, liars, or probably reaching the end of your rope. Trying to get reason back into the situation.. I appreciate the support but I fear they want to believe the worst as something they enjoy.

Some gossip and rumor, games and manipulation.

I’ve had enough of your obsession with creating drama. Please do not try to entice me to speak to you.

Does this mean my spirit is broken? My will to relate to people is offline but I’ll follow fewer instructions not more.

You’ve made talking no longer worthwhile.

So there will be no discussion.

If I don’t want to? My silence will be final

If you are an asshole to me? Your opinion on anything becomes irrelevant to my existence. I might care if it’s not personal but with an extra thought or two on whether I will consider agreeing.

If you think that makes me an arrogant bitch because you have a childish limited view of human decency.

I really am not interested!

It takes a certain amount of spirit to survive what I have over the past four years. A spirit many have tried to challenge and break like I am a wild bucking steed.

What do you expect me to have? Meekness?

Make no mistake, you have confused the strength and will to overcome evil poured upon me by the clutch of cultlings brainwashed by some asshole I long left 20 years ago.

I must be made of fire to endure and I burn when hot. Myself mostly but don’t come to close.

Don’t prod me with a stick and I’m quite warm otherwise.

If you don’t like this about me? Your opinion is still irrelevant to my existence so save your breath for a target that gives a shit what you think of them.

For just half a moment

The depths of obsession that lead someone to have a complete AI skin crafters – so she could pose it in AI images.

Naked.

With the purpose of creating animated pornography

With under age individuals.

You know she has done this.

What is wrong with you that you continue to support her and her viscous mole?

May you all get the luck you deserve, 3-fold and fast.

P.S

Related

And I might be killed soon anyway.

Women who feel secondary use Reactive Abuse to feel closer to “primary”.

Anyone unusual is nitpicked to death, everyone else busy stepping on each other’s necks to be “the most special”.

And certain men get suspicious when a woman isn’t shallow, self centered, or petty.

Not all…

Oh dear.

What a viscous cycle.

All women want equality? We need better behavior.

The rest of us (women) are sick of their bullshit too.

And strong, independent leaders get overlooked.

Because the general consensus right now is, “Oh don’t let a woman be in charge, they’re bitches”.

Step up to the plate girls

Drop the passive aggressive bullshit.

Because none of us will be seen as anything but secondary while you try to drag people down to your level rather than build them up.

In many of my books the identifiable leader of the group places structure below others creative, capable and talented. They herd sometimes. But their leadership is support. They make the final decisions- if they need to.

And it’s that last part that separates what I wish to offer and someone “in charge.”

Think of me more as a Royal adviser than queen. Or at least someone as important as iago but a lot more honest without the dubious character flaws of Othello’s guide

Too extreme lengths?

How about category: “visionary” then?

I will be sharing what I perceive and a perspective. In a very long book.

I am not neglecting my spiritual duties.

But life is in the way and I need to step up a bit before I can present anything.

Plus there’s the whole writing 215 essays.

You know…

Pretty f’n big!

I’m going to poke at it for a while and meanwhile focus on my physical self. Health, appearance general presentability.

I need a year or two. But by the time I’m ready to write them those ideas will have been mulled over. Matured.

And just maybe that book will cradle the right individuals.

I still have to live up to the potential I present for all of us. Hypocrisy bothers me.

But for those worried that my desire to take a backseat is stepping away?

Don’t worry. I’m still working on my promised plans. But I love presenting all the angles and hate making final decisions.

But frankly, so long as I encourage and nurture good choices and ideas? I will make a significant difference. Maybe even a better one.

Moved a paw

No walking, journaling , or other writing.

I’m not sure I can function well enough for any of them, let alone all.

But she’s making certain, anyway.

I recently learned some of the “broadcast” is indeed not consensual for any of us. And it’s possible bluetooth monitors get my grumpiness. 

Terrorists tend not to be choosy.

It had been the case that I heard that before – sort of. (It didn’t occur to me baby’s could hear because Bluetooth is Bluetooth.)

The depth of the situation was so buried by abuse and gaslighting I began to believe it was just a way to control me, anyway . No way does something like this happen and unscrupulous individuals gaslight the truth away.

Ahhhh.

From all of us to the cult like terrorists “WTF”

I was still trying to swear less. But I did not stick to agreed upon hours.

Then I thought it was “all over”. And eased off.

Nope. Just a new Bluetooth environment getting hacked. 

This is not a good sign for my desire to move. But I absolutely can not continue to live where I was. I will kill myself. I was on the edge too many times and the abusive women there compounded my PTSD so thoroughly I might never recover.

Though I have choice words I will have to be more careful- fresh ears may be too young to hear the swearing I wish to grumble with.

Though evolutionsbremse is probably a good one still. (Thank you German). 

I apologize for becoming difficult. I had thought it all finished anyway. I was out of the environment of that abusive… user and manipulator. And things have certainly been quieter.

I still have the hours agreed upon.

Sound hours were 9am – 5pm Mon-Thurs.

I do need to be able to take a bath/have a shower. But I was asked to wait till 6:00am and not have a bath in the middle of the night.(So after 9:00pm)

Hopefully so long as don’t mutter. I can review my notes and writing quietly and I can still do that whenever I’m actually capable- which thanks to PTSD is an hour long at a time and not every day.

Mornings or just waking I tend to mutter. I’ll try to remember the word “Bluetooth” and settle myself down.

Someone said, reasonably so.

“It’s not your fault, but it is your problem.”

It’s not fair to anyone really. But please give me patience as I didn’t choose any of this and I will try to be more accommodating.

Why should you worry about whether I live or die?

I’m the current bullseye. I kill myself and there’s another, potentially someone very powerful. I might not be terribly important to everyone but I am the most likely to hold fast.

With some patience and a change in living arrangements.