Sylvanna Devlin

The evils of Nuerolinguistic programming require first making a mind mailable.

Medication can do it overnight, depression for some, torture if one is so inclined, and an onslaught of abuse so psychologically twisted eventually cognitive function fucks off.

The gray matter is open to manipulation.

The cult after me tried since 2022 to break in, make it nigh impossible to think for myself. To need help and direction.

If I can’t think anymore the programming can begin to let the leader do all the thinking.

In all cases

The victim becomes a puppet. Their true personality suppressed to the point individuality is erased.

For most they succumb and function as directed. It’s done to make slaves think it’s willing. But it is by no means consensual. However their own desires and goals are erased and replaced with what they are told to want.

When the cult is getting close? First comes instructions failures. You look at the guide for a build. Even a recipe. And no matter how simple? You can’t follow it.

Your cognitive dysfunction is temporary but dangerous and can seem permanent if you can’t escape the abuse levied on you.

Finally you get to an inability to determine your own needs save thirst. And even then do you choose water or ginger beer? What is everyone else having?

Creeped out yet?

You should be.

I’m not sure what happens when the leader who did this is finally arrested. I don’t know what happens to cultlings so abused they don’t understand anything without very guided instructions.

They’re probably prone to infighting.

Because no one wants to feel stupid and no one wants to admit they just can’t remember who they are anymore.

I am of the impression women have been abused into taking on my history, my name, my goals, as the cult leader forced everyone to call themselves Sylvanna.

They then did whatever awful thing they had to in order to “prove their love”. Likely told “the real Sylvanna would do it”

Then they hunt for which is real.

Yuhoo Sylvanna Devlin would not do it. Thank you. I’m not in your cult. The history you’re dressed in is mine and you don’t value individuality and intelligence anymore – to the point you don’t recognize it.

But I was once manipulated and controlled by their leader and while he never tried to force me to break the law, he was unable to grasp that he would not be gaining power over me again.

The other women didn’t get that either.

Everything was my fault. They were so heavily abused because I wouldn’t obey their rules. Never mind I’m on no compound they were trying to create one.

Who knows how many members are trying to blend in with society. Some probably seem a little stupid. And you might wonder how they survived thus far.

Cognitive dysfunction is just that. And depression, abuse, torture, NLP, some medication and drugs, and intense peer pressure can all dull the wit.

What is needed is compassion and to be lead out of the dark.

Personally my brain needs to rewire now. Thank you. I will be putting the pegs in place. I need to have as little interference as possible.

But I am likely the only one who resisted this point four years and it’s likely other victims need help.

Please help them.

And give me some time

Also?

They may become suicidal as they wake to what has happened to them. As frustrating as it is. Please be gentle.

If this resonates and you need help? Please go to the emergency room. And if you can’t find the words for what happened to you, show them this post.

Your whole identity has been wiped. You may need help getting it back.

If they wish to contact someone for advice, the FBI has resources that are official, and I will give unofficial aide as I can. If they think it’s best not to seek anyone out who isn’t a professional? Please listen to them.

You can’t tell if you’re hot or cold, if you aren’t hungry, want comfort food, or could do with eating. If it’s morning or night becomes fluid and uncertain.

What day is it again?

Yes that can happen.

And yes. Brainwave manipulation can even cause blackouts.

This can’t continue.

Okay. I am a bit different. Met lots of people and had something in common with all of them – which is not normal!

I can communicate to most people using their style and relate to their experiences

And then explain that to someone else using that other persons perspective as my guide.

Indeed the more angles to the world I can see or learn the better.

Because while I’m like everyone else, no one is like me. Everyone connects to the multifaceted (slightly dented) person that I am. So some don’t realize how different I am.

It may sound isolating but honestly as much as I’ve met lots of wonderful people. I’ve been exposed to toxic behavior on an all new level!

It’s not reasonable to ask me to be like everyone else. If I wouldn’t in middle school I’m not going to cut off parts of my soul in my forties!

It’s also not reasonable to ask everyone else to be like me. I’m unique with an unusual history and mind. Given freedom to be creative – when some asshole hasn’t been trying to pin me in place.

I’ll forge a path and leave lights on behind me. But don’t let anyone force you to follow them – and don’t try to force me to follow yours.

PS what can intense and strenuously performed conditioning do?

While you are unconscious direct you to “part your legs”

And you do.

My conscious brain put a stop to it and the only way to try again is abuse and I lock my door.

But it was done to me with the hopes to create a sex slave.

So think what you like of me

Because it didn’t work.

Why women are involved is fairly straightforward. The leader is able to create a magnetic aura that convinces women he loves them more than the world. He stands close, his shoulders curl, his voice is gentle, and he is so skilled at manipulation he always says “the right thing”

Women become convinced they are in love.

It’s augmented by brainwashing and conditioning. He has tried gaining control by force. As far as I’m aware if he didn’t hook them emotionally as well they would kill themselves.

They usually aren’t “granted” sex but sucking down there is almost how he greets new members. Might be accurate to say indeed it is just that.

He uses PUA (pick up artist) techniques to gain and maintain interest so sex with him becomes an obsession.

And each woman is convinced they are the special one.

The men?

Oh how obedient a broken into pyche becomes. Simon says becomes a test of control.

The men may or may not be interested in the spiritual ideas he first stole from me then shat on. I don’t know. But controlling the women they want is appealing to them.

And, as written about in the PUA book (The Game), men flock to learn (NitWit Shitbag)’s secrets for getting sex. And abusing women into getting power over them.

Some women are just directed by Joshua into sex. Others are “given to those who have “served” him to his satisfaction.

With all the fuckery he does women’s individuality is wiped. What the leader wants they think they want (even if under it all, they don’t) I don’t know if other men involved do that to their “birds”.

The hive mind is scary and it’s easy to assume you are dealing with the most stupid women in America.

Have compassion. The cognitive abuse they continuously go through stops them from thinking for themselves and they become afraid of those who can.

They may, once out, or beforehand been intelligent. But now you are flabbergasted that they don’t understand they don’t have the right to declare others be like them.

By god I began to wonder.

But the leader has that effect. Using a 70’s book on Nuero-linguistic-Programming, he wipes them through brain torture and abuse and “remodels”

It’s very dangerous and reasonable to fear the lemming quality could lead to mass destruction or suicide.

His group absolutely must be treated with care for potential danger to the individual inside the hive mind conditioning. And what they are capable of doing before they can or will escape.

Women do begin to clear up. The leader learnt his presence is necessary, interaction with him. And brainwashing and conditioning is routinely foisted on trapped, vulnerable women.

Not that they are able to understand that life’s way of shitting on them has created wounds that can’t close.

Because the most dangerous thing the leader does is make them feel “finally healed.

No. It’s not losing everything- but that’s a close second.

It’s after you’ve had a break. You can’t get back into it. You can’t settle down.

And our fear whispers

“I will never write again.”

My mother advised just doing something else. I didnt quite get it and would have projects at various stages so I could always be working on something.

But life had other plans.

After a long break I couldn’t get back into any of it. I was frustrated and furious. I used to write daily for hours at a time.

Now nothing connected. I mean for some? Who cares if the plots good it’s a sketch. But yuck.

I picked one and tried. Did okay for a scene or two then.

Meh.

No explanation. Just couldn’t stay focused on it.

So I did something else – and came back. I spent the day doing that and as a result the mess in my apartment is more manageable.

(No one cleans like a procrastinating writer- except a stuck one!)

Some people describe that inability to get back into as writers block.

Oh no. That’s a different beast. But one of them does contain that fear.

“I will never write again”

Your bum is in chair. You’re staring at the same sentence and might be suffering from lethologica yourself because while some argue “there’s no perfect word” that’s not entirely true. Some words mean what they do and are the only one. You can’t rewrite the whole sentence but if you want that one you want the word it takes jumping round a thesaurus to find.

Please keep in mind most popular book reviews are by men and somehow, magically, a character just as capable as you but is indeed a separate creation is a “Mary Sue” and blown off as which fulfillment.

Sod that.

Write your strong, female protagonist. You’ll do better at it than most men and then roll your eyes when they know so little about women they can’t even recognize a good character who is a woman.

I don’t know how to address the feeling when you lose your own work. If it’s your thing you’ve been working on for x amount of time it’s gutting.

I don’t have the experience on commenting on your work on top of another’s. Writing is supposed to be personal and a little solitary. It’s not a group effort.

But I imagine the pain to be just as intense. Because you’ll be afraid you needed that work.

No. You didn’t. You’ll never be satisfied as a writer using someone else’s work that way. But boy does it take some experimentation to find your style (s)

I have one per book series. Just different kinds of books seemed to fit with different voices. But I am unusual in that and there is nothing wrong with digging in to a preferred style and genre.

Just start with your own. Even if you haven’t figured out the plot yet.

That’s a perfectly normal phase.

(Remember all characters have desires, some competing, and your plot will be the conflict that gets in the way – complicated a few times)

Get to know your characters. They’re separate opinionated sods who talk back. Which every writer understands and everyone else asks if you’re feeling okay.

While I have you. If you write once a year during NaNoWriMo, that’s okay. At least you know how difficult it is to sling together singing sentences!

Now it’s difficult for other reasons than the attitudes of some Professionals.

You might know it’s a subconscious rip off. Or the plot is going nowhere. You can’t make the words do what you want. You can’t find your voice.

So there’s the other whisper of our fears.

“I can’t do this”

Look, those are all phases all writers have to get through regardless of potential. I’m sure eyes are rolled at my mantra

“Practice, Patience, Perseverance.”

It’s so hard because that phase can be a long one.

Writing is hard.

So if you’re halfway finished. November is over and you don’t know what to do because you just wrote quickly?

Put it in a drawer for a week or two, or even months. Pull it out and use that as your starting sketch.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11959254/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

https://a.co/d/0iac1XUY

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/BWIVPM6WK9AS?ref_=wl_share

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20036935/

Once you’ve found a group that loves each other – even if it’s as a large family prone to arguments, it’s hard to be anywhere else.

This world, this country, is particularly scary. And those wounded by the world cling to each other.

But some manipulative leaders create wounds.

Look at the way Trump manipulated a “make America great again” generation into being. If he didn’t have wounds he created them.

He’s still creating them. And he’ll sell himself as the solution.

Cults and close small spiritual- or close to spiritual groups can indeed give a sense of safety.

But quite often that sense is artificial. She has to keep hurting you and keep convincing you the outer world is worse.

You’re getting scared. I get it. That love we feel is real and this argumentative and broken culture is sometimes one we want to draw back from.

And Americans object to criticism even if they would otherwise agree that there’s certainly something wrong.

But maybe it’s the teacup example and not as much broken as a little dysfunctional – if wording is the issue.

Our teacup only has so much room and we’re spilling over – not in land. But putting up with irritations to the point we’re just irritating each other further. Because there’s only so much tea we can handle.

We have to do something for sure.

“Don’t like it, move!” Is the American motto.

Actually I love it here, enough to want to help it.

Working together seems impossible and it will certainly take some convincing. But you can’t force the issue.

You love each other partially because you have all been wounded in the same way and feel no outsider will understand.

It’s scary out here. I get it.. But you’re never going to truly heal or attain your goals within a group that uses abuse to control you.

Do you remember your own goals?

And you do, secretly, think there’s something wrong. But that’s easy to blame on “outsiders”.

Look I don’t want to tell you it’s easy out here. I want to let you know I understand and I love you and your love for each other is real. But your environment is hurting you.

Recovering from disbanding is painful and confusing, I understand. Like a mutual break-up that hurts. You still love each other but you’re not good together.

You will pull through.

But the best way is one I’m still seeking. Find a healthier community. I know it sounds obvious to outsiders but it sounds impossible from the inside. But it’s not.

I’m not going to kid, God is real. So any love oriented church is a good place for your soul to heal.

Find a group to join that is healthier and aligns with your interests.

A book club

A spiritual but not denominational meet-up. There’s even a website for it.

There’s an awesome Linux community in Sonoma. Probably elsewhere.

Just lick your wounds for a while, try things till you find what interests you most. Then join that community.

It’s okay if you’re so lost you feel you don’t remember your interests. They may have changed anyway- suppressed as you’ve been.

As a side note in the Bay Area there is San Francisco cafe for the kink and queer community. And they are so awesome. And welcoming to curious beginners.

A lot of people say safe, healthy kink is therapeutic.

Barring that. I hear writers groups can be good.

Stop listening to rumors and gossip, lies there is evidence when it’s not possible.

I have never assaulted anyone, groomed anyone, or been “inappropriate” with anyone.

Do some critical thinking!

This video? I assume my stalker chose someone pudgy to trick. Does she have hobbit like proportions? Does she have a 9 inch bust, waist, hip ratio?

It’s unlikely.

And whomever it was, I was certainly not involved or I would have reminded the producers there are such things as laws

P.S

My music is being screwed with. Including MIB by Will Smith. And Zion by Fluke. I think Ce’est un pas (sp? It means that’s life but French is awkward) Anyway it’s Soldat Louis’ most famous song and it’s a bit off now.

How the heck do I get these fixed?

Because I am bored with selfies